We Cannot Let This Beauty Trend Become A Thing. WE CANNOT.

I’m into makeup. I love a good eyeliner wing and pop of lipstick (red and purple hues are my favorite). But trashy feminists have a way of ruining everything I like. I remember when d*ck-shaped lipstick became A Thing. It’s still A Thing, actually. And it still grosses me out.

But this? This might actually be even worse.

I don’t know how to adequately prepare you for this. This is so disgusting that I don’t even know how to say it, so I’m just gonna go there.

One woman used her boyfriend’s junk to blend in her foundation. Nope. She didn’t use a beauty blender. We’re talking BEAUTY BALLS. I am not making this up.

Johnna Hines is the “cool teen” who brought this technique to everyone’s attention.

y’all dare me to post a video of me using Damon nuts as a beauty blender

— johnna hines (@punkzillaa) April 23, 2017

And so she did. I don’t feel comfortable enough to put the video in this post. If you want to watch it, you’ll have to do so here. Although I HIGHLY advise against it.

The worst part? SOME PEOPLE THINK IT’S COOL.

@punkzillaa this is literally the best thing on twitter rn 💖

— josh (@josh__mejia) April 26, 2017

@MannyMua733 im shook from this I don’t know how to feel, kinda turned on honestly lol

— Manny MUA (@MannyMua733) April 23, 2017

@MannyMua733 Gurl I’ve watched it so many times on repeat and I’m feelin’ some kinda way

— Daryl Skelton (@dazzle2722) April 23, 2017

@lolatmylife21 @MannyMua733 I’m so shook for so many reasons right now lmfao

— Nicole Douthitt (@NicoleAlexisMUA) April 24, 2017

ok now i need me a man so i can use his balls as a beautyblender https://t.co/NOJN71h98K

— drugstore lucy liu (@peachdeluge) April 23, 2017

Metro UK was really into this. More than everyone else, it seems. It actually reached out to Hines to get some tips OMG.

We reached out to Johnna to find out the specifics of her patented technique (how firmly should you hold the testicles? Can they withstand being repeatedly slammed into the face? Must they be freshly shaven?) who told us the following.

 

‘If someone wanted to recreate the whole ordeal I would say hair-free is the way to go,’ Johnna told metro.co.uk.
‘Why on earth would anyone want hairy balls in their face anyways?

 

‘Given that it is someone’s BALLS being used and for your man’s safety it would be best to not go HAM on the whole dabbing thing.
‘The best angle is whatever is comfortable for you and your partner!

 

‘The most clear position is one I’m sure most people are used to doing hahaha.’

CAN WE PLEASE NOT DO THIS???  What’s the goal, society? Why is mankind so hellbent on pushing the limits on EVERYTHING? This isn’t trendy or funny. It’s disgusting. Our culture is gross.

Call me a prude. I don’t care. I don’t want my future children to grow up in a world where this is considered “cool.”