OPINION | This article contains political commentary which reflects the author's opinion.
So, Bill Gates tweeted this out today:
I've tested positive for COVID. I'm experiencing mild symptoms and am following the experts' advice by isolating until I'm healthy again.
— Bill Gates (@BillGates) May 10, 2022
He has mild symptoms. And thank goodness, right? Thank goodness for obvious reasons, but also because he was quinthruple-boosted and that would’ve been awwwwkwaaaaard if he had more than mild symptoms, amirite? One can assume that he, of all people, had access to the ultra-mega-super-duper-heavy-duty-mama vaccine, since he’s Bill Freaking Gates. For all intents and purposes, he could’ve been suckling on a drip of that Pfizer-milk for months.
So yeah – I’m actually surprised he’s experiencing any symptoms at all, frankly. But that’s neither here nor there. But he suuuuuure wants you to know about them, because that’s what we’re doing now. We’re all telling one another when we experience symptoms of any kind. We put it out there on social media, and then we put circles around our faces on on said social to also alert everyone of our superiority status.
Because obviously, Bill Gates is better than you.
Translation: Get your shot, loser. $$$$$$
He followed up that first tweet with this one:
I'm fortunate to be vaccinated and boosted and have access to testing and great medical care.
— Bill Gates (@BillGates) May 10, 2022
He IS fortunate, isn’t he? Fortunate to be a nerdy software dude that had morphed into this weird, powerful unelected voice in American public health. I mean, that makes no f***ing sense. But hey – Amerika!
I think that we should all start tweeting to Bill and friends about our bodily functions, since they’re so keen on telling us about theirs. And I’ve decided that Facebook needs to come out with a circle that says, simply, “I POOPED TODAY!” because it’s about as ridiculous as the ones I see on the daily.
Isn’t this some sort of HIPAA violation or something? For crying out loud, can we just stop already?