Gwyneth Paltrow’s Company (Goop) Is Selling Candles That Smell Like Lady Parts.

What. In. The. Holy. Hell.

According to the sourcelink, this is a new product being sold by Goop, the company Gwyneth founded that also sells jade eggs that you’re supposed to shove into your vag.

SEVENTY FIVE DOLLARS for a candle that smells not just like a vagina, but Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina SPECIFICALLY.

And because we live in the world we live in, the first stock of this product sold out in hours.  And if the description above is too small for you to read, allow me to describe the scent.  “It’s a blend of geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed that puts us in mind of fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth.”

Who in the holy hell is buying crap like this, and why?  I NEED TO UNDERSTAND THIS.  Did you know the Chicks have a voicemail hotline that you can call and tell us things?  If you’re a person reading this, and you have bought or WOULD BUY this candle, please call 317-684-8444 and explain yourself at once.


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