BREAKING: Andrew Cuomo Defeats Challenger Cynthia Nixon

Hannah Bleau

Surprise, surprise. And by that I mean, no surprise.

The results are in. Andrew Cuomo has defeated his challenger, Cynthia Nixon in New York’s Democratic gubernatorial primary race. It’s a shame, ’cause she totally had T.I.’s vote, even though he had no idea who she was. Like, he was even considering inviting her to his next family BBQ!


New York. Gov. Andrew Cuomo will win the Democratic nomination for a third-term on Thursday night, CNN projects, easily defeating a challenge from his left by progressive activist and actress Cynthia Nixon.

The Empire State primary marked the final opportunity this year for left-wing insurgents to unseat powerful Democratic incumbents. But Cuomo, a battle-tested campaigner with deep pockets, consolidated establishment support in the spring and spent the summer blitzing the airwaves, spending more than $8 million over three weeks late in the contest to head off any momentum growing around Nixon’s insurgent bid.

They’re both horrible, so this really doesn’t make a difference in my book. New York is still screwed.