Hillary Clinton And Chelsea Handler Are Headlining What Will Surely Be The Worst Music Festival Of All Time

I used to love a good music festival.

Sure, it’s been a few years since I’ve been to one… (I’m prematurely old.) but it seems a lot has changed since then.

I remember music festivals as events where you wore over-the-top summer clothing and danced to all your favorite bands and drank a margarita while sitting on someone’s shoulders. (I’m short, ok? I needed the boost.)

It seems music festivals are now a place to wear pantsuits and moan about how Hillary is the rightful president.

I mean… look at this line up:

Who's Pokemon Go-ing with me? It's gonna be lit fam. #OZYFest pic.twitter.com/ACDs1oMI6e

— Ryan Decker (@SunDevilDecker) July 9, 2018

UUUGH.

That sounds like my idea of hell. But apparently, it’s a thing people are going to… and paying good money for.

According to Daily Wire:

OZYFest, which describes itself as “part music festival, part TED talk, part food fair,” just announced its 2018 lineup, and it’s a doozy.

For a mere $134, the cost of a 2-day general admission ticket, you can enjoy a weekend of terrible music, overpriced street-cart food, and a host of lectures from the likes of Hillary Clinton, Chelsea Handler, “comedienne” Michelle Wolff, far-left author Roxane Gay, Jemele Hill — the ESPN anchor best known for calling President Donald Trump a white supremacist on Twitter — and that guy who hosts Trivia HQ.

WHAT IN THE FRESH HELL?!

According to Fox News, “Emerson Collective president and founder Laurene Powell will interview the former Secretary of State and 2016 presidential candidate on Saturday, July 21, at Rumsey Playfield in New York City’s Central Park.”

There, she will list all of the reasons she didn’t win. None of them will be her own fault.

Saturday’s lineup will also feature a who’s who of progressive luminaries, from noted orator and unemployed talk show host Chelsea Handler, progressive rap artist Common, and Martha Stewart.

The festival’s second day will feature talks from Clinton’s less-accomplished protege, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY), and billionaire progressive activist Tom Steyer, who has been leading a charge to pre-emptively impeach President Trump for charges known only to Tom Steyer.

So um… this is not a music festival at all.

This is basically liberal CPAC… only they can’t get people to come to anything without flashy posters that make it look like there’ll be tons of weed present.

The fest, organizers say, is an attempt to recreate the success of the South by Southwest Interactive festival in a more convenient location for Brooklyn’s hipster population. It’s a project of OZY media, an online world news platform that calls itself the voice of the “Change” generation — an unsubtle throwback to President Barack Obama’s campaign slogan.

According to OZY media co-founder, former MSNBC host Carlos Watson, the two-day festival will absolutely change the world, though he didn’t elaborate on exactly how.

Can you IMAGINE the kind of insufferable clowns that’ll go to this thing?

It would honestly be PRIME people watching.