In Today’s Frivolous Lawsuit News…

…apparently a woman is suing a Texas Roadhouse restaurant in Michigan because a toilet paper dispenser fell on her hand there and now her bowling scores are worse than they used to be.

I am not making this up.

Interestingly, the article initially states that her hand was broken by the toilet dispenser (which I find absolutely ridiculous and pretty much impossible) but then says that it was simply BRUISED. But regardless, due to this UNSPEAKABLE INJURY, Sheri Schooley says, THREE YEARS LATER, that she still can’t work, and she can’t bowl with that hand. I don’t know about you all, but it seems to me that Sheri Schooley is a lazy, litigious bag of crap.

What’s worse, is that a judge AND the state appeals court turned down Texas Roadhouse’s request to dismiss this ridiculous lawsuit. You know why? Well, as Chief Justice Marilyn Kelly said, “There is no evidence that restaurant employees inspected toilet paper dispensers to see if they were closed.” Can you believe this nonsense??

Meanwhile, even though Sheri Schooley says she is unable to work, she’s still bowling – it’s just that she’s had to switch hands. And if you weren’t already feeling sorry for her enough, then you’ll want to immediately just send her the entire balance of your life savings when you hear what she said about her bowling game: “My average used to be 140. Now it’s 95 to 100. Quite a drop.”

Sheri Schooley, you are a prime example of suck.