Shut Up, Mike Pence

As per usual, the views expressed in this article do not necessarily represent the views of anyone else at Chicks on the Right but myself.

My favorite part of the GOP’s first primary debate on Wednesday was when Bret Baier told Mike Pence, in so many words, to shut the f*ck up:

Bret Baier (01:30:32): Mr. Vice President, we can’t hear … Mr. Vice President.

Mike Pence (01:30:33): … is to give Russia everything they’ve got.

Bret Baier (01:30:35): Mr. Vice President.

Mike Pence (01:30:36): Give them a promise that Ukraine will never be in NATO, and then somehow-

Bret Baier (01:30:41): Mr. Vice President.

Mike Pence (01:30:41): China will not think about taking Taiwan. We achieve peace through strength.

Bret Baier (01:30:47): Mr. Vice President.

Mike Pence (01:30:48): America needs to stand for freedom.

Bret Baier (01:30:50): Okay, here we go.

Martha Maccallum (01:30:52): I think we need to establish some ground rules here.

Bret Baier (01:30:54): When we hear this bell, that means your time’s done.

Martha Maccallum (01:30:59): You’re done.

Bret Baier (01:31:00): So, Mr. Vice President, we appreciate your aggressiveness here. 30 seconds is 30 seconds. Mr. Ramaswamy, you were mentioned. You get 30 seconds.

My second favorite part is when he did it again:

Bret Baier (01:39:36): Speaking of which, images from earlier this month, Governor Hutchinson-

Mike Pence (01:39:42): [inaudible 01:39:42] with Mexico.

Bret Baier (01:39:43): Vice President Pence.

Mike Pence (01:39:43): [inaudible 01:39:44] Mexico policy.

Bret Baier (01:39:45): Images from earlier this month-

Mike Pence (01:39:46): 100 miles of wall, we secure [inaudible 01:39:48].

Bret Baier (01:39:47): Vice President Pence, it really doesn’t help. I’m asking a question.

Of the eight candidates on the stage, Pence is polling in fourth at 4.2%– a full six points behind Vivek Ramaswamy in third place (10.3%) and barely ahead of Tim Scott (3.7%). 

Of the eight candidates on the stage, Pence spent the most time talking: 12 and a half minutes.

I would like to say one simple thing to Mike Pence:

Shut the f*ck up.

(Chris Christie, polling behind Scott, essentially tied for second with Ramaswamy– 11 minutes 38 seconds and 11 minutes 37 seconds, respectively– so I have the same essential message for him.)

This election isn’t about you. Frankly, it’s barely about anyone on that stage, but I digress.

I don’t mean to say that long-shot candidates should never run– I proudly voted for Gary Johnson in 2016 and Jo Jorgensen in 2020– but I do expect a modicum of self-awareness from presidential hopefuls. Hardly any, really! Just enough to stop and say, “I’m not at the center of this stage. The most popular candidate today isn’t even on the stage. Maybe I should make my case within the rules of polite engagement and let the voters hear from those in whom they’ve expressed the most interest.”

Ramaswamy and Ron DeSantis (who spoke for 10 minutes, 1 second) have an excuse to fight for attention and push the boundaries of the 30-second timer. Half of Republicans want an alternative to Donald Trump– I’d wager most of them desperately so– and they’ve been vying for second place for months. Whoever drops out second of the two will likely pull most, if not all, of the other’s support. 

But Pence is the opposite of what makes Ramaswamy and DeSantis so popular, and his constant referral to “the Trump-Pence administration”– whatever that is– proves it. He’s mired in the middle between being Trump’s former VP and the person on the stage who probably hates Trump the most; he must appeal to the fans of his recent vice presidential past while facing the reality that anyone who wants more of it probably considers him a modern-day Benedict Arnold. 

It would be a compelling case study, if he weren’t so intensely unlikeable. 

To achieve this delicate balance, Pence’s strategy seems to have been to mirror the belligerence and fanatical conviction of his former running mate with the intent of becoming Trump 2.0. It’s a stupid strategy, not just because there is and can only ever be one Donald Trump. It marries what never- and please-just-give-us-anyone-but-Trumpers by and large can’t stand the most about him (his bombasity) with what MAGA voters disdain the most about anyone else (that they’re not Trump). 

Perhaps worst of all for him, it got in the way of the only trait that might give Pence a fighting chance, because I was too irritated with him to pay attention to a single thing he said about his policy. I assume it’s sound, if not in line with my personal convictions, but I’ll never know. 

Because the only thing I want out of Pence ever again is silence.