Jussie Smollet Acting Until the Curtain Drops, Or Cell Door Closes

Jussie Smollet, who is apparently an actor but is better known for perpetuating a fake hate crime against himself, has finally been sentenced. “Justice for Jussie” movements are eerily silent after Smollet was sentenced to 150 days in jail, 30 months of felony probation, $120k in restitution, and a $25k fine. 

Jussie, a fine upstanding citizen who assures us he would never lie, continued to profess his innocence, even going so far as to yell across the courtroom after sentencing. He must have forgotten the video evidence of him meeting for a dry run of the crime with the Nigerian men he hired. Or the receipts from buying supplies, or the lack of medical evidence to support his claims, or the video of the rope around his neck changing from one scene to the next. And his accomplices confessing.

The Nigerian fellas, who are decidedly NOT Maga homophobes out to harm “the gay Tupac” as Smollet has called himself, said they were told to pretend to punch Jussie but not actually hurt him. It sounds like he had as much dedication to this fake crime as he had to his acting career. None.

One of the brothers said the hoax was supposed to help boost his career, and I can’t argue there, because I had no idea who Jussie Smollet was before all of this happened.

Smollet’s final moments in the courtroom included him shouting “I’m not suicidal!” He wanted everyone to know that if anything happened to him while in jail, it wouldn’t be because he killed himself. I don’t know if he’s got dirt on the Clintons that we don’t know about or if his sense of self-importance is simply a result of wishful thinking. 

Jussie’s Hollywood friends are strangely silent as he acts the victim, yet again! He’s over here screaming like he’s being framed, but he called the police on himself. Is it more or less racist if they never investigated the crime to find the truth in the first place?? I don’t know. I’m just trying to make sense of it all.

Jussie may not be suicidal, but he’s definitely a dick who likes to waste other people’s time, so we’ll see how that goes over with his cell mate. Maybe his time in the clink will help him develop a new show idea. Surprise, he’ll be the star/victim, and no one will understand or appreciate him the way he deserves! He’s cooking up an Emmy y’all. At least, in his mind he is. The rest of us are just happy he got called on his BS hoax that only served to incite and divide an already divided nation. Thanks for nothing, Juicy.