YouTube Awards YouTube A YouTube Free Speech Award

OPINION | This article contains political commentary which reflects the author's opinion.

I know you had to read that title more than once. I’m sorry. I tried to make it make sense, but it really is just as dumb as it sounds.

YouTube is that employee who sucks at their job but asserts they would work harder if you paid them more. YouTube is that tree hugger who vows that they would be altruistic if only they were rich enough. So when I heard that YouTube’s own Freedom Forum Institute awarded the CEO of YouTube a free speech award in which the acceptance speech included praising the platform’s dedication to cracking down on dangerous content, I literally choked on my food because I was laughing so hard.

Freaking idiots. Yeah, you keep using that phrase, “free speech”. But I don’t think it means what you think it means…

YouTube is officially that video of the woman who calls the police because the person she was trying to buy drugs from didn’t sell her the rocks she was expecting. They’re the psycho ex-girlfriend who was cheating on you, but then tries to burn your house down and sabotage your new relationship because how dare you have anything. Who the hell is running things over there? I swear they just have a dartboard of policies and they’re playing blind.

One of my favorite YouTubers, Sydney Watson (who also truly dislikes YouTube), recently made a great video about the platform and its bipolar, contradictory standards. Or as she says, “This platform is a dumpster fire.” They’ve been under scrutiny for allowing children to be exploited while focusing all of their attention on targeting conservative content that makes them feel grumpy, but sure, go award yourselves for doing a great job at something…that you’re not actually doing. What. Losers.

Watch the full video here.