A Letter To Black Liberals

OPINION | This article contains political commentary which reflects the author's opinion.

It’s time for an honest conversation with black liberals. This is addressed to you, because I have to be real here. YA DONE MESSED UP. What (and I mean this sincerely) the ACTUAL HELL are ya’ll thinking?? I made a joke in one of my latest articles about not identifying as black if self-reliance and nuclear family structure are not synonymous with black culture. In reality, it’s the idiots who think math is racist that need to be ostracized from black culture.

You’re not welcome at the BBQ anymore. This is worse than raisins in the potato salad. This is arsenic in the potato salad; you’re intent on poisoning everyone and dragging them down with you.

Do the cockeyed skank standing outside of Planned Parenthood realize that it was literally founded with the goal of wiping out the Black population, and they’ve now got you fighting to help them do it? Blacks are the only population of minorities predicted not to grow in the next few decades. We’re also on the receiving end of a disproportionate amount of abortions in the U.S. I’m sure that’s merely a coincidence. It’s either that or you’re the idiot sitting on the end of branch while actively sawing between yourself and the tree. Here’s a hint, YOU ARE DEFINITELY THAT IDIOT.

I have never in my life…Ya’ll got me cursing like a Jewish grandma over here. Oiy.

I’m fed up. If you think Cardi B has more class than Candace Owens, you don’t get to vote on what the black community needs. If you think cheating-ass Jay-Z and Beyonce are a power couple, if you play Chris-the-Haymaker-Brown’s songs for your daughter, no one needs your ratchet ass opinion on what is good and wholesome for black people. Oh no. You should lose your ethnic card ASAP. If you don’t know who Thomas Sowell is but you can identify all of the Kardashians and their baby’s daddies, your momma needs to slap the black off of you; you’re not using it right. You are no longer allowed to decide what qualifies as black culture.

I saw this division for the first time in elementary school. I scored well in some tests and was moved into the “white kids class” for science and math. My classmates literally called it the white kid class instead of TAG (talented and gifted). “Why you in that white math class, you think you’re better than us?” Uh. Clearly I am, because did YOU get invited to the class?

What I should have added to my bougie remark, is that maybe that’s what all the black kids should be aiming for. Instead of the white class, or even the black class, it should be seen as the smart kids’ class and we should have all been fighting to get in it. Maybe competition to be the best and the smartest IS black culture, and the lazy or jealous kids need to be labeled as something else.

Those same little sh*ts who were teasing me about being in the white class are now the same morons, YOU black liberal morons, walking about with George Floyd t-shirts on. Like he’s your hero. THAT’s the person you want to base a movement on? THAT’s the person you think your kids should stand behind? Not Ben Carson or Clarence Thomas. Okay cool. Well make sure your kids know they need to get in a few robbery and drug charges in, to really be authentic.

I swear, I have never been more baffled by my community than I am now. The co-founder of BLM just spent over $3 million amassing a slew of houses, and ya’ll are still out there buying their merchandise. Thanks for the donation. Patrisse Khan-Cullors is appreciative of the sweeping views in her elite California home.

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At what point to do you realize that you’ve hitched your cart to the wrong horse? Joe Biden? I mean, REALLY? I’ve got socks that are smarter than him. I’ve got dead batteries that are more functional. I’ve met rednecks in an actual freaking barn that had more tact with minorities, and I was probably the first and last one they ever met. But you’ve managed to let the media convince you that Trump, who you watched party with all of the black celebrities and date black women for DECADES, is secretly yet overtly racist. That takes a special kind of stupid. I hope you wear pool floaties when you take a shower.

Just to rub in how completely idiotic that concept is, please do a image search for Joe Biden with a black man, and compare that to Trump with a black man. I don’t know what Google will show you, because I don’t use that bullshiz, but Duck Duck Go has NO pictures with Biden and black people for the first few rows. Then there’s a statue, which is Bronze, not black. And then there’s him scowling a few feet behind a black person. Trump is shaking hands with, hugging with, and praying with whole black communities, looking right at home. There aren’t even a bunch of pictures of Slow-Joe and Obama together, because Obama never invited him to the White House. Probably because Joe called him the first black who was articulate and clean…That’s your hero.

Jumping on the defund the police bandwagon when it’s mostly black communities that will hurt first? Agreeing that black people are too incompetent to get voter ID? I mean, speak for yourselves. If you’re too stupid or lazy to get an ID when you need it for EVERY other facet of life, please don’t assume you represent all black people. You’re a follower. You’re irrational. You’re emotionally driven. And honestly, I don’t want to be associated with any of ya’ll.

It’s not me who’s not black enough. No, it’s black liberals and progressives that need to be ostracized. Take your negative, demoralizing, deconstructive ideals elsewhere. If you support Democrat’s energy policies that will hurt blacks, don’t say you care about black culture. If you support a higher minimum wage and limiting school choice even though Democrats pushed those policies to keep blacks from being successful and they still hurt minority communities today, you’re a special kind of dumb, and I don’t want you deciding what is an acceptable part of black culture.

I’m not saying you can no longer identify as black, but at best you can be African-American and wear your Kente cloth next to Nancy Pelosi. Ya’ll are equally black. Because my black culture is little boys in suits going to church, and yours is teaching your eight year old daughter to sing and dance to WAP. I want to listen to Larry Elder speak. You want to listen to LeBron-can’t-string-two-verbs-together-James. We are not the same. I want black kids and all kids to strive to be the best they can be. You want schools to get rid of petty racist things, like grades. I’m focused on my 401K. You’re focused on slavery you didn’t live through committed by people who aren’t alive today. The slavery that DOES exist today isn’t even on your radar at all. I’m not sure if that’s ignorant or just disingenuous. I want my kids to be an equal part of larger society. You want segregated graduations. Never mind that people actually fought AGAINST those things less than a century ago. I think, I KNOW, I can succeed without government handouts. You think everyone should be lining up to suckle at its dysfunctional teat.

No, we’re simply not the same. We’re nothing alike, and I’m really tired of you speaking for me. I wouldn’t trust a black liberal to care for my plastic house plant, let alone the future of my children. I have black friends that are liberal, and I hope they’re reading this, because I’m genuinely concerned for their mental well-being at this point. YA’LL ARE TOUCHED IN THE HEAD.

I know black nurses and lawyers arguing on social media about how black kids can’t make it in today’s America. What the hell are you a product of then?? Is the country somehow more racist now then 20 years ago, and if so, how did THAT magic happen? They complain that they experienced racism growing up. BUT DID YOU DIE? I’m sorry, but you’re just not special and it’s not the end of the world. I experienced racism when I went on vacation in Mexico; it turns out some of them don’t like my people much. My Russian husband experienced racism growing up. Did you know that some majority white cultures don’t like their tanned brethren? Did you know that there’s a Russian version of the “N” word? Or is that not the right kind of racism so it doesn’t count?…

You spend all day, a damn worrisome part of your life, complaining about white supremacy when you support the exact same policies that white supremacists do. The woke left and far right are literally twins, in different outfits. I know, everyone needs an enemy in life and leftists have focused on the KKK like they’re trying to take over the world one bedsheet at a time. Well the FBI says there about 3,000 registered KKK in the country right now. At the same time, there are 12 million Bronies (grown ass men who fanboy over My Little Pony and dress in adult pony costumes). I know who I’m more worried about, and it isn’t the guy in the back swamps of Louisiana who never has or never will meet a black person.

But you’re adults, so you have the right to whatever messed up, ludicrous decisions you want to make. Just make sure they only apply to you and your kids, not me and mine. Why don’t you go build a little CHAZ, maybe a little Wakanda, and build your utopia there? Just know that no one will pity you when you run yourselves into the ground. Certainly not white liberals, holding the door open for you so it can hit you on the ass on your way out. Dumbass.