OPINION | This article contains political commentary which reflects the author's opinion.
HOLY CRAP we get some pyschos following us, y’all.
Just to give some color to this post really quickly – you should know that I’ve been in a mood today. I’ve been irritated by like 46 different things, and so today was NOT THE DAY for a stranger to write us and tell us how we should personally change something about ourselves in order to make us more appealing to him.
I have a minimal tolerance level for strangers telling us what to do under the guise of constructive criticism anyway, but today? TODAY WAS NOT THE DAY.
But Gerald didn’t know that. And so Gerald decided that today was the day that he needed to write us, unsolicited, about how we should improve ourselves in order to get “more credibility.”
The subject line was a dead giveaway (even with the misspelling of “You’re”):
Coupla things to point out here. I have no idea what he listened to that got him all pissy about our use of the word “like.” Like – was it our radio show? Or like – our podcast? Or our FB live video? Like – WHAT WAS THE CONTEXT, Gerald? Like seriously.
Also – if you’re a person who listens to us – regardless of where and how – and you ever think to yourself, “Wow – I really wish those chicks would stop doing (insert whatever pet peeve you have here)” – there is literally NO REASON for you to share that with us, because we aren’t going to stop doing the thing that you have the pet peeve about. We’re pretty set in our ways at this point, what with us being 49 and 51 years old, respectively. You either live with it, or you don’t. Don’t tell us to stop saying “like.” Don’t tell us to stop saying “OMG.” Don’t tell us we laugh too much or that we shouldn’t call ourselves chicks or that we need to say more this and less that. Just don’t. It’s pointless, and it’s a waste of your time and ours.
Before I show you my response, I just wanna remind you again that TODAY WAS NOT THE DAY.
I mean, it wasn’t THAT mean, was it? I kinda feel like I just responded to him in kind.
BUT YOU GUYS OMG ALL OF A SUDDEN HE FLIPPED THE F*CK OUT.
CAN YOU EVEN? I mean, that was a serious shift in personality, wasn’t it?
But just wait until you see the amazing restraint I showed in the face of this sexist blowhard:
And then, to his credit, he responded as follows:
That rarely happens. Usually a-holes like this immediately retreat and get all, “YOU CAN’T SHARE MY PERSONAL INFO YOU C-WORD!” like the p*ssies they are. So I have to say, I was pretty impressed with Gerald for like, a hot second. I wanted confirmation about whether or not I could display his email address, so I followed up with this:
And then for some reason, he started a new email chain, with the subject header “Here ya go” even though he wasn’t actually offering me anything:
Ooooooooooooo. The ol’ vibrator joke. Good one.
I should point out here that I never called him a badass. And yeah, I’m pretty sure I know who I’m f*ckin’ with. This ain’t our first rodeo, as they say.
BUT LOOK HOW CALM AND PATIENT I AM AGAIN:
Before he answered that, he started yet ANOTHER email chain after stalking me on LinkedIn:
Oh Gerald. You were just asking for this.
Gerald lost his patience after that.
I should stop emailing him, he said. As if I had started this. Mmmkay. It’s clear Gerald isn’t used to women actually refusing to TOLERATE HIS BULLSH*T. I’m glad I was able to give him that experience.
He stopped responding after that. I’m assuming he’s actually ball-less, so I’m doing him the courtesy of keeping his last name and contact info private, because I’m a giver like that.
Hey Gerald – if you’re reading this – LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE.