Eric Swalwell, Felicity Huffman, Ilhan Omar, View Drama, And A Transweirdo Bleeding In The Mens’ Room. Today, In Headlines.

Mockarena, Co-Founder

Yeah, I know.  The headline is all over the place.  I can’t help it, you guys.  There’s a lot to cover this morning.

First of all, Eric Swalwell, who is legit one of the creepiest dudes ever, announced his run for the White House on the Colbert Show, because obviously that worked really well for Kirsten Gillibrand. Behold:

This is going to be the most awesomely ridiculous primary to watch in the history of primaries.

Also, Felicity Huffman is pleading guilty to the charges against her related to the college admissions scandal.  Her statement reads as follows:

I am pleading guilty to the charge brought against me by the United States Attorney’s Office. I am in full acceptance of my guilt and with deep regret and shame over what I have done, I accept full responsibility for my actions and will accept the consequences that stem from those actions.  I am ashamed of the pain I have caused my daughter, my family, my friends, my colleagues, and the educational community.

I want to apologize to them and, especially, I want to apologize to the students who work hard every day to get into college, and to their parents who make tremendous sacrifices to support their children and do so honestly.

My daughter knew absolutely nothing about my actions and in my misguided and profoundly wrong way, I have betrayed her.
This transgression towards her and the public I will carry for the rest of my life. My desire to help my daughter is no excuse to break the law or engage in dishonesty.

I gotta say, that’s about as good an apology as I’ve read from a celebrity about anything. Like – she legit sounds sorry.  Compare that with the complete sh*tshow Lori Loughlin put on for the crowds outside the courtroom yesterday, as she beamed with pride and signed autographs.  I hope that hag serves time.

Felicity is looking at up to 10 months in prison.  Lori and her husband could be facing two years.

Also, Ilhan Omar tweeted this yesterday:

Stephen Miller, the dude she’s claiming is a “white nationalist,” is a JEW.  She cannot help but constantly and consistently demonstrate her anti-semitism, y’all.  And the fact that SHE has influence on policy is what’s truly outrageous.

Way to go, Minnesota.  Way to pick ’em.

Hey – wanna feel super uncomfortable for a minute?  Watch this exchange between Meghan McCain and Joy Behar from yesterday.  Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes.

Also, this happened on Twitter yesterday:

The ratio on that thread is EPIC.  Literally everyone with an Actual Brain is trying to get this lunatic to understand that no one gives a crap about whether she’s black – they care that she’s an inconsiderate hosebeast who doesn’t understand hygiene or respect for others.

She’s also someone who puts crap like this on Instagram:


By the way, that heinous person is an adjunct at Columbia University, in case you had any sense of hope and optimism left about the state of American universities today. According to her own About Me section on her website, her work “broke ground” when she went topless showing her double mastectomy scars at Afropunk Fest 2016.

So brave.

Anyway, those are the headlines this morning.  This is our world.

Off to get coffee and hoping someone has spiked the office coffee with massive amounts of Kahlua.