Eric Swalwell’s Mile-High Tale Is As INSUFFERABLY HILARIOUS As You’d Imagine

Rep. Eric Swalwell is gunning for the 2020 nomination, so like most Democrats, he’s practicing his “stories that never happened.”

Exhibit A:

Headed back to SF and a very kind Boston passenger asks, “excuse me, are you a senator?”

“No, ma’am, you’re demoting me. I’m a part of the chamber that’s going to fix things.”

*With MUCH love to my Dem Senate colleagues.

— Rep. Eric Swalwell (@RepSwalwell) December 15, 2018

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

This is literally the douchiest tweet of all time. Seriously, I’m dead. What a little troll.

“And then the pilot announced my presence on the loudspeaker.

Great celebration ensued.

‘Let him fly,’ cheered everyone in business class.

I took the controls, circling the plane to spell TRUMP SUCKS with chemtrails, then dropped nukes on Nebraska.

There was much applause.”

— Razor (@hale_razor) December 15, 2018

Obviously, Swalwell was just too humble to include this. Wow. What a HERO.

Political fanfiction is the best fanfiction.

— Libertarian Populism (@SemperArgentum) December 15, 2018

Absolutely… but they should ALL include Lindsey Graham in black shades.