My Beer REALLY Triggered A WHOLE BUNCH Of Liberals

Ashley (Kimber)

I told you all about #BeersforBrett, and I decided to join in…

Well, my picture blew up a little. It ended up in a “Twitter moment.” Whatever that is.

“Cool. Maybe one or two extra people will see my twitter” I thought.

So I went to dinner with my boyfriend and our mutual friend.

Halfway through dinner I looked at my phone and noticed a had a BUUUUNCH of Twitter notifications.

GUESS WHO’S TRIIIIIIGGERED!

OH NOES!

What will I do without my WOMAN CARD?!!?!

I guess I can’t be a lady victim anymore! WAHHH!!!

Also, some maybe sort of kind of hints at me getting raped. Because OF COURSE!

You know, because he’ll rape me.

Bart? Who dat?

Lovely.

I had a beer. I live in a 4 bedroom house with a dog and my lawyer boyfriend. Projecting much?

That’s nice.

Uhhhh… you can’t POSSIBLY think this is clever.

You do? That’s sad. I personally LOVE being a woman. Also “Love Conquers Hate” …that’s rich.

HAHAHA, ok. Yeah. Let’s go with that.

Also I’m super ugly… because that’s all they’ve got:

And I’m a RAPE APOLOGIST!

AND AN INSULT TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE!!!!

And I’m white, and that’s a problem:

I reported that one, because I’m pretty sure “I hate white women” is a violation of Twitter’s supposed code of conduct.

But also I’m NOT white, and THAT’s a problem, too:

Aaaaaand my dad doesn’t love me:

Actually, my dad and I are VERY close. Which is why I’m not telling him about any of this. He might hurt someone.

Anyway… this is TIP OF THE ICEBERG, and they keeeep on rolling in!

UPDATE: they kept it going aaaaall night. And believe it or not, they got worse:

THEY CALL ME GLOBAL WARMING, ‘CUZ I’M MELTING ALL THE SNOWFLAKES.