So… Is This Awkward…? Bruce Willis Roast Gets A VERY Unexpected Visitor

I was born in 1990. So it’s safe to say my childhood “celebrity crushes” weren’t exactly typical for girls my age.

While most girls were all about Justin Timberlake and Nick Lachey/Carter/Whatever, my little pre-teen heart beat wildly for Bruce Willis and David Bowie.

HELLOOOOOOO, BRUCE!

I know, I know… WTF kind of combo is that, right?

It all kind of makes sense now, though. I like manly men who can get in touch with their artsy side. You know. A Bruce Willis/David Bowie hybrid. TOTALLY a thing.

Anywhoooo the stars came OUT to roast my first love this weekend, and

A) Holy CRAP he’s getting up there. Time flies, doesn’t it?

B) Demi Moore showed up.

AAAAWKWAAAARD.

Or was it?

According to Page Six:

The stars came out on Saturday night to the Comedy Central Roast of “Die Hard” institution and American treasure Bruce Willis — and it was a celebratory festival of reading the non-Oscar nominated actor to filth. But one of the best roasts of the evening came from surprise guest — and Willis’ ex-wife — Demi Moore.

In the middle of the ceremony, roast master Joseph Gordon-Levitt, out of nowhere, announced that it was Moore’s turn take the dais, surprising Willis, roasters and the audience. Not originally on the roast roster, the “Empire” actress stepped out on stage to excited applause ready to drag Willis.

She dug into his age, his bald head, his music, and made some “Die Hard” cracks — all topics that were targeted during the evening. But there was one thing that only Moore could skewer that no one else on stage could: their marriage.

“I look at our marriage like ‘The Sixth Sense,’” said Moore. “You were dead the whole time.”

BAHAHAHAHA.

Ouch!

It seems, however, that it was all in good fun.

It also should be noted that Willis’ daughters Rumer, Tallulah, and Scout and his wife Emma Heming were in the audience laughing at his expense as well.

I recently saw pictures of Bruce and all of his daughters at Disney World together. They seem like a cute little blended family:

Bruce Willis proudly strutted around Disneyland wearing matching Mickey Mouse shirts with his daughters. https://t.co/HnnD80gIgU

— The Blast (@TheBlastNews) July 10, 2018

LOVE.

Anyway.. it all sounded like a good time:

The delightful slams, drags, and Willis takedowns continued throughout the evening with Edward Norton, who stars with him in the upcoming “Motherless Brooklyn.” The three-time Oscar nominee came through with a clever roast that was a brilliant combination of celebrating himself and back-handed compliments aimed at Willis. He wondered how a bartender from New Jersey became the biggest movie stars of our time. Norton, who works tirelessly to be the acclaimed, high-brow thespian he is, admitted he was jealous that Willis does the same character every time and has an incredible career that has lasted decades. He said that he wanted to be just like Willis and told him that he yearned to “be the global d-khead powerhouse you are.”

In addition, Gordon-Levitt, Moore, and Norton, there was a motley crew of Willis’ colleagues and random admirers that didn’t mince words when it came to railing on Willis and each other. “Moonlighting” co-star and one of Willis’ oldest friends Cybill Shepherd had fun throwing in some jabs and sharing her experiences working with him on the iconic dramedy while comedians Nikki Glaser and Lil Rel wondered why they were even invited to the roast — but that didn’t stop them from getting in some good shots in.

Dennis Rodman was probably the most random roaster on the dais and struggled to get through his jokes as a roast first-timer. All the while comedians Kevin Pollak, Dom Irrera, domestic Goddess & roast regular Martha Stewart, and Roastmaster General Jeff Ross enjoyed dragging Willis with jokes that tested the boundaries of what is offensive and what isn’t with loving inappropriateness.

As with all Comedy Central Roasts, the guest of honor took the stage at the end of the evening to take revenge on his roasters, enjoyably roasting each and every one of them without holding back. Even so, he felt the love and recognized the fun in the evening after the roast he said, “I thought I dislocated my jaw because I was laughing so hard.”

I KNEW he’d be a good sport!

But after the dust settled, Willis, like in all of his action movies, survived all the roast attacks and recognized what a badass he is. Before the roast ended, Willis pointed out that one of the roastees from the past went on to be President (he was, of course, referring to Trump). People were wondering if he would follow that path.

His response? Bruce Willis GOLD.

To which he said: “Why be President when I can be Bruce f-king Willis?!” And then he treated us with one last “Yippee ki yay motherf-kers” before whipping out his harmonica for a little jam session.

“The Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis” is set to air on July 29 on Comedy Central.

Anyway… I’m about OVER Comedy Central… but I’d watch for Bruce.