Roseanne Live-Tweeted The Oscars … And It’s The ONLY Recap You Really Need

Like most of us, Roseanne had no interest in what a bunch of pompous d*cks had to say at the Oscars… but she DID watch… why?

I’M WATCHING ONLY FOR LAURIE METCALF AND THE ROSEANNE COMMERCIAL. #Oscars2018 ACTORS WHO SHOOT PPL 4 A LIVING WILL DECRY GUNS. I MIGHT LIVE TWEET FASHION

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 4, 2018

Fair enough. If a close personal friend of mine were nominated, and a trailer for something I worked on was playing, I would have watched too.

However, I am not close personal friends with any celebrities, and after a whirlwind week of CPAC in DC and Fox in NY, my body finally gave up on me on my first weekend off….

I am now sick as a dog… and spent all of yesterday in bed.

So anyway. No, I did not watch… but after reading Roseanne’s AMAZING livetweets… I don’t feel like I missed out on anything.

live tweeting w vod and home made grapefruit juice.

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 4, 2018

Yup… off to a good start.

First she takes on FASHION:

salma hayek’s outfit looks like a prom dress from Walmart

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 5, 2018

Presenter at the 90th annual #Oscars @salmahayek Pinault wore a custom #Gucci sequin gown with ruffled tiered skirt, jeweled chandelier embroideries, and clutch with crystal butterfly closure by #AlessandroMichele. pic.twitter.com/cksFXMvmzz

— gucci (@gucci) March 5, 2018

Aaaaaand she’s not wrong…..

patrick stuart: alien

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 5, 2018

The Professor himself, Sir Patrick Stewart ✨

📸: Getty #Oscars#GlobalGrindOscars pic.twitter.com/B1wYNq6gj3

— Global Grind (@GlobalGrind) March 4, 2018

Interesting observation, Roseanne!

She goes back to DA FASHUN:

ALL THE MEN’S PANTS R TOO TIGHT AND TOO SHORT! #NO

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 5, 2018

Fact Check: TRUE!

He went to #SouthKorea and decided to represent gay people instead of America. Kept going on and on about #Trump and #MikePence only to return home with the worst silverware haul. Well he was invited to the #Oscars! #AcademyAward #LGBT #AdamRippon #Olympics #PyeongChang2018 pic.twitter.com/srN3IIMCmE

— Sewuese Bem (@SewuBem) March 5, 2018

WTF is THAT?!!?!

Anyway… she watched for a while….

Alison Janey is a GREAT actor-my son’s favorite-she is so tall! I met her and come up to her boobs!! “Best Supporting Actress”

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 5, 2018

Moments later, best supporting actress winner @AllisonBJanney walks in Dolby Bar w/her new #Oscars to wild applause. 👏🏻👏🏻 She’s class act. pic.twitter.com/uk1Apn48Op

— Chris Gardner (@chrissgardner) March 5, 2018

Holy CRAP! She IS tall!

Viola Davis wants her cocktail and I HEAR that!!!

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 5, 2018

nicole kidman: beautiful in blue-Sandy Bullock is gorgeous too-the high neck is good looking and both admit to enjoying TEQUILA!

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 5, 2018

mr and mrs gary oldman look alike

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 5, 2018

 BAHAHA. Also TRUE.

the shortest speech tonight wins a jet ski! Helen Mirren is hilarious

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 5, 2018

Sam Rockwell wins! his performance was one of the greatest I’ve ever seen! YAY!!

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 5, 2018

Gal Gadot is Gorgeous

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 5, 2018

YES! TRUE.

howcome the guy who played the fish is not nominated? he is the hottest actor EVER

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 5, 2018

Huh?

i hope The Fish wins for costume design-

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 5, 2018

that fish is HOT–

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 5, 2018

Wow… Roseanne is REALLY in to the hot fish.

the fish did not win-the perfect male body fails in hollywood?

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 5, 2018

that fish was the perfect male, if u think about it-all instinct and romance and no talking.

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 5, 2018

who is the actor that played that fish?

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 5, 2018

OMG ROSEANNE LET IT GO.

twitter had a commercial! it was all about women on another planet. #WTF

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 5, 2018

Yeah… that’s odd.

…before totally giving up.

i am going into the hot tub right now-#Vodka

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 5, 2018

“The Shape of Water” wins Oscar for best picture at Academy Awards marked by celebrations of diversity in movie-making https://t.co/J5sm3111W7 pic.twitter.com/kqOkLYJKNl

— NBC News (@NBCNews) March 5, 2018

The fish!

AAAAND

ok, I’m out bc I can’t take any politics on this show-goodnight

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) March 5, 2018

And yeah… her trailer did come out. And it looks kinda cute.

Look, we get it. You’re busy. You forget things. ❤ this Tweet and we’ll remind you to watch the premiere of #Roseanne on March 27th. pic.twitter.com/n1bMrVJtbE

— Roseanne on ABC (@RoseanneOnABC) March 5, 2018

Thanks for the recap, Roseanne!