Gwyneth Paltrow’s Holiday Gift Guide Is Something Else
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December 22, 2017Looking for the ~perfect~ gift for your loved ones this holiday season? Well does Gwyneth Paltrow have some suggestions for YOU. She’s got you covered. Goop has a series of gift guides that cover all the loved ones in your lives.
Let’s go over these ideas, shall we?
How about a $425 set of cheese knives?
Or this overprice, ugly bowl?
Brass napkin rings. What every woman wants.
Maybe you want to give the gift of love in a bottle?
Kids need $52 bunny masks. Obvi. 
BRAIN DUST.
Or a good mood in a can!
Nothing says, “Merry Christmas” like a vag egg. 
I got nothin’. 
Get it on body wash? No?
GOOP GLOW?! Don’t you want your family members to GLOW?!
Positive energy IN A BOTTLE! They need it!
Singing bowls! An essential! Especially for the anti-Trumpers!
A $42 crap bag! YEAH BUDDY.
A $152 folder. WHAT A BARGAIN.
And if you’re a big spender, you can always get them an antique french boat. 
Paltrow is clearly in touch with the common man.
Well? What are you waiting for? Go go GOOOOOO!
