Michael Moore Has A Plan For Democrats. A PLAN, Y’all.

I haven’t seen Michael Moore this upset since the day the Chinese buffet ran out of egg rolls.

In the wake of the Democrats getting their assular areas handed to them on Tuesday, Michael McMuffinStuffer has been out trying to gin up change within the Democratic Party. Some of it makes sense (surprisingly enough). Most of it, however, it disgustingly ill-informed and moronic. Kind of like Michael Moore himself.

BEHOLD! Michael Moore’s Five Point Plan to Make The Democrats Great Again (okay, I added that last part. I really couldn’t resist) –

Morning After To-Do List:

1. Take over the Democratic Party and return it to the people. They have failed us miserably.

2. Fire all pundits, predictors, pollsters and anyone else in the media who had a narrative they wouldn’t let go of and refused to listen to or acknowledge what was really going on. Those same bloviators will now tell us we must “heal the divide” and “come together.” They will pull more hooey like that out of their ass in the days to come. Turn them off.

3. Any Democratic member of Congress who didn’t wake up this morning ready to fight, resist and obstruct in the way Republicans did against President Obama every day for eight full years must step out of the way and let those of us who know the score lead the way in stopping the meanness and the madness that’s about to begin.

4. Everyone must stop saying they are “stunned” and “shocked.” What you mean to say is that you were in a bubble and weren’t paying attention to your fellow Americans and their despair. YEARS of being neglected by both parties, the anger and the need for revenge against the system only grew. Along came a TV star they liked whose plan was to destroy both parties and tell them all “You’re fired!” Trump’s victory is no surprise. He was never a joke. Treating him as one only strengthened him. He is both a creature and a creation of the media and the media will never own that.

5. You must say this sentence to everyone you meet today: “HILLARY CLINTON WON THE POPULAR VOTE!” The MAJORITY of our fellow Americans preferred Hillary Clinton over Donald Trump. Period. Fact. If you woke up this morning thinking you live in an effed-up country, you don’t. The majority of your fellow Americans wanted Hillary, not Trump. The only reason he’s president is because of an arcane, insane 18th-century idea called the Electoral College. Until we change that, we’ll continue to have presidents we didn’t elect and didn’t want. You live in a country where a majority of its citizens have said they believe there’s climate change, they believe women should be paid the same as men, they want a debt-free college education, they don’t want us invading countries, they want a raise in the minimum wage and they want a single-payer true universal health care system. None of that has changed. We live in a country where the majority agree with the “liberal” position. We just lack the liberal leadership to make that happen (see: #1 above).

Let’s take this apart piece-by-piece, shall we?

Point 1 – Is it bad to say I kind of agree with his reasoning here? Probably not in the way that he means it – I think the Democratic Party is obscenely corrupt and obsessed with their own power and they don’t give a flying flea fart about ANYONE. Why do you think Hillary Clinton didn’t come out to face her tear-stained supporters at 3 am on Election Night? She doesn’t care about them. She only came out the next morning when her DONORS were gathered and she made her concession speech for THEM.

Supporters/gen public who have showed up at New Yorker hotel to see HRC are being turned away. Appears event is just for staff/donors, etc

— Liz Kreutz (@ABCLiz) November 9, 2016

Point 2 – The pundits and pollsters really took it in the teeth this go-round. However, that’s a symptom of living in a liberal bubble and only talking to their liberal buddies. They treat people living in Flyover America like a bunch of backwards morons who need the super-educated leftists to take care of them. And Flyover America didn’t appreciate that condescending attitude very much. Actually, we NEVER appreciated it. Just this time, we got the chance to push back against the elitists. And it felt GREAT.

Also – I seem to remember BOTH candidates calling for healing and unity. Trump did it the night he won. He said he wanted to be the president for ALL Americans and work together. Hillary also told her supporters donors that they needed to accept the results and work together with those who were once their opponents. Even Obama proclaimed that we are not Republicans or Democrats, but Americans.

NEWSFLASH, guys – the election’s over. We’re not enemies anymore. We weren’t supposed to be in the first place. We can disagree without burning down each other’s cars or screaming in each other’s faces. But I guess after eight years of Saul Alinsky’s “Rules for Radicals” running our lives, it’s hard to go back to being friends. No, not even “friends.” Like, actually POLITE to each other.

Point 3 – Maybe Democrats should have thought about that before they shoved Obamacare down the American people’s throats unilaterally. Turns out, people don’t like being forced to buy a product by threat of law. They hate it even more when the monthly payments for said product are more that what they’re paying for their rent/mortgage.

All of this is a result of failing to LISTEN to the American people. And the sad thing is that they’re STILL not listening!

Point 4 – Okay, there is no lie there. Moore actually got this one exactly right, surprisingly enough. What’s funny is that he didn’t take his own advice. EVEN WHEN he was explaining to the left in his OWN FREAKING ANTI-TRUMP MOVIE why people were flocking to Donald Trump –

If you make this go viral, Trump will win. It’s 4 minutes that makes the choice in this election crystal clear.#EarlyVoting pic.twitter.com/UOgqSfet6a

— Jared Wyand ?? (@JaredWyand) October 25, 2016

Moore was mocking Trump supporters in that clip, but the fact is that he stumbled onto the truth, and that truth was a huge part of why Donald Trump is going to be our next president.

Point 5 – Well, OF COURSE the Democrats want to abolish the Electoral College. Liberals mostly live in the cities and they would get to choose the president every four years. The Electoral College makes it so everyone’s vote means something. Urban, suburban, rural, everything inbetween. Our Founders were actually pretty astute when it came to realizing who would be more likely to abuse an overabundance of power. Or, there were enough farmers among them to know they didn’t want the city-dwellers running their lives.

This actually puts it very nicely –

If we didn’t have the Electoral College, California, New York, Texas, and maybe Florida would choose the president. Everyone else could sit home with their fingers in their noses for all the good it would do to vote. Then small-town rural voters living in the gray areas of that map (and yes, we DO exist) would really have no voice or recourse. We would have government of the elite, by the elite, and for the elite (oh, and you peasant rubes can come along too, if you’ll pay taxes).

Then again, the elites would be totally fine with that. After all, what do regular Americans know about running their own lives? Some of them don’t even go to Starbucks on a daily basis. THE HORROR!

If anything, Moore’s little To-Do List only proves that he and all of his liberal buddies still have NO CLUE why they lost. Sure, he gets close to the truth in a few places, but that’s just left-splaining how right-wing “idiots” think. They don’t want to listen to us – they want to take us down and make sure we lose forever and ever. That’s what’s important to them.

As far as I’m concerned, Moore can take his list and stuff it.