Texas Town Loses Power to Unexpected Adversary
Iowa Mom Goes OFF On School Board About High School Drag Queen Show While Wearing Same Outfit Drag Queen Did…
October 6, 2022
Obviously Velma is a Lesbian.
October 6, 2022In Florida, people are losing power due to extreme weather. In California, it’s because of poor planning and too many electric cars. In Texas, though?
Well, in Texas, they’ve got raccoons.
Yup. The whole-ass town of Seguin, Texas experienced a power outage not once, but TWICE thanks to two little bandits, each in possession of four paws, a stripey tail, and the cutest masked face you ever did see.
The first culprit, dubbed Ricky Raccoon, caused hundreds of people to lose power after he got into a substation transformer. He was apprehended by police, who released the following statement:
“On October 1, 2022 at approximately 11:45 pm, the City of Seguin experienced a city wide power outage. After further investigation, the suspect was described as a black & white male, approximately 2-09, 35 lbs. On October 3, 2022 at approximately 8:45 pm, the City of Seguin’s East substation was struck again by the electric bandits. Through the assistance of Seguin Electric Department, Police took Ricky Raccoon (3, Seguin) into custody. Ricky would not advise if he had further accomplices in his act. This is an on going investigation, and city departments are working to assure our furry bandits do not strike again.”
The second instance seems to have been caused in the exact same way: a raccoon “climbed onto a high-voltage wire and touched a part of the circuit that was grounded.” Tragically, both of these little rascals have since passed away. I hope you’ll join me in a moment of silence.
These two instances seem isolated, but who’s to say that a trash panda militia isn’t amassing to take over Seguin? I certainly wouldn’t rule it out. Personally, I say if they want it, give it to ’em. They’ll get it eventually, with those adorable little grabby hands.
I MEAN LOOK AT THEM.
Don’t concern yourself about the knife. Just hand over the snacks– and the entire town of Seguin– and everything will be OKAY.
1 Comment
Now that’s funny! Once upon a past life, I caught a very young racoon outside of the ENS building on the UT-Austin campus when I was a student there back in the early ’80’s and raised it as a pet. His name was Gamma and he was the coolest thing, and other than the hissing and snarling that generally scared people he was mostly friendly, unless (until?) you did something suddenly and unexpectedly to him like try to scoop him up quickly. Yep, that happened to my neighbor across the street where I grew up. It didn’t end well for her, and I ended up having to surrender my pet to a local “wildlife rescue” organization. Well, at least I didn’t have to pay for the stitches or the rabies shots my neighbor had to get… My point is, they might be cute but they are far from defenseless!