Elle Magazine Reports That Toddler Kamala Only Wanted “Fweedom” As A Little Girl.

We all have that one friend who tells totally ridiculous stories that you know, as soon as you hear them, never really happened. In fact, there are Facebook groups dedicated to documenting exactly this, and memes galore about things that definitely never happened.

Listen to this totally believable story I’m going to tell you.

Today my 18 month old toddler fell out of the stroller while we were on a speed walk (because he’s an escape artist who climbs out of all the fancy safety regulations for children’s equipment these days).

By the time I noticed he was missing and circled back around to him, he was understandably upset. I said, “Bubba, what do you want? What do you need?” Whimpering and with a quivering lip he said, “To spend my portion of the stimulus check on another gun.”

Imagine being the presumptive Vice President of the United States and recounting a story like this.

Imagine being a “journalist” and writing this in an actual magazine.

As an actual article.

For people to actually read.

And for a few people to actually believe.

Well, you don’t have to imagine because this really happened.

Elle Magazine ran an personal interest story on Kamala Harris and here’s how they chose to start their article.

Senator Kamala Harris started her life’s work young. She laughs from her gut, the way you would with family, as she remembers being wheeled through an Oakland, California, civil rights march in a stroller with no straps with her parents and her uncle. At some point, she fell from the stroller (few safety regulations existed for children’s equipment back then), and the adults, caught up in the rapture of protest, just kept on marching. By the time they noticed little Kamala was gone and doubled back, she was understandably upset. “My mother tells the story about how I’m fussing,” Harris says, “and she’s like, ‘Baby, what do you want? What do you need?’ And I just looked at her and I said, ‘Fweedom.’”

Yeah, I totally believe that tiny toddler Kamala, lost in a crowd of protesters, said that all she wanted was “fweedom.”

Alex, I’ll take “Things That Never Happened” for $500, please.