Former New York Governor Reportedly Brought A Prostitute Home In A Suitcase

Well isn’t THIS something:

Eliot Spitzer snuck me into his apartment in a suitcase: ex-mistress https://t.co/whGwj0vygO pic.twitter.com/A3PIUfplyF

— New York Post (@nypost) December 21, 2018

Gotta love a New York politician, am I right?

Former Gov. Eliot Spitzer used to smuggle his Russian-escort mistress into the luxury Upper East Side home he shared with his wife — by stuffing her inside a piece of luggage, she told The Post.

“He used to sneak me into his Fifth Avenue apartment in a black suitcase . . . when his wife was away,’’ Svetlana Travis Zakharova told The Post in an exclusive interview.

“My knees would be up by my face. When the doorman would ask if he could help, Eliot would say, ‘No, thanks.’ ”

Claaaassy.

Supposedly her lawyer is now trying to have him jailed for “improprieties” though I’m unclear what her specific charges against him are.

The things she has to say about him are JUIIICYYYY.

Zakharova recently told The Post that when she met the then-married multimillionaire in 2010, he was as cocky as ever — but still a bum underneath it all.

“When I first met him, he bragged how rich he was. But I didn’t believe him because he had holes in his underwear,’’ she said.

THIS IS SO FREAKING EMBARRASSING.

…and a good way for his wife to know if she’s telling the truth or not, I suppose. DOES he have ratty man panties?

Zakharova, now 28, said Spitzer would whine about another girlfriend and his wife when they met up for their anything-goes romps.

“He told me about problems with his wife. She complained about his drinking. She bought a dog without telling him,” Zakharova said.

But Spitzer, 59, got back at his spouse by not only going outside their marriage for sex, but by breaking Silda’s cardinal rule for their upstate estate: No one but family allowed, the ex-lover said.

“He used to take me upstate to the farm,’’ Zakharova said. “He cooked for me, omelets, and he would put a potato in the microwave.

“He was not a good cook.’

Suitcasegate?

— matt knight (@mattknight64) December 21, 2018

The incredible Portamistress! Light and flexible enough to be carried in a standard suitcase, her daily dietary needs are fulfilled with a single protein bar! Portamistress will feign interest in your boring work stories & your insincere regret over your failing marriage!

— joebrenner (@joeabrenner) December 21, 2018

"I allowed Eliot Spitzer to stuff me into a suitcase."

— RGoodell'sChinWattle (@rgschinwattle) December 21, 2018

WHY DOES THIS CRACK ME UP?!

It does.

Spitzer resigned back in 2008 for his “involvement” with a prostitution ring: