Berlin Locked Down After Reports of Loose Lion

Now that’s not a shelter in place order you see every day.

Authorities warned residents in the wider Berlin area to stay home after receiving reports of a lioness on the loose.

The frantic search was triggered by a short grainy video shot by a member of the public in the early hours of Thursday. It appeared to show a wild animal, possibly a lion, roaming in a wooded area in the town of Kleinmachnow.

As the search unfolded, two police officers said they saw a “big cat” about 20m (65ft) away on the same day.

My favorite part is that all the zoos and wildlife parks in the area checked and confirmed that all their lions were exactly where they left them, begging the question, where the f*ck did this lion come from??!

Well, as it turns out, wishful thinking, mostly. After a closer look and a complete lack of any evidence like lion paw prints or lion poo, the authorities announced that actually probably it was just a wild boar. But not until after 120 cops and wildlife specialists– including two from South Africa– had gotten involved, complete with drones, helicopters, and heat-seeking cameras.

Now, I’m no expert, but after reviewing the footage I’m not really sure how anyone could look at that and say, “Gee that sure looks like a lion!” Especially not in a place where wild boars are common.

Man, I’d be pissed if it were my taxes that were wasted on that wild goose– er, lion— chase.