Non-Binary Wants Apology For ‘Ladies And Gentlemen’ Greeting

OPINION | This article contains political commentary which reflects the author's opinion.

So, a railway felt the need to APOLOGIZE after a conductor wished passengers “a good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen”. I know. How dare it. A non-binary LGBT rail union rep heard this calamitous greeting and brought attention to it. No worries, we’ve been promised that the offending conductor will be “dealt with”, but since we’ve set aside this special time for someone to humiliate themselves in public over something ridiculous, let’s revel in the spotlight. Shall we?

NEWSFLASH, if you’re non-binary, there are some times when people won’t be talking to you. If I say “good afternoon ladies and gentlemen”, which I plan to say ALL THE DAMN TIME NOW, then I’m simply not talking to people who are not ladies or gentlemen. Maybe I’ll address you next week. Maybe never. Maybe I’ll get around to it when we get three-day weekends every month. That’s FAR more important in my sphere of acknowledgment than whatever tri-species intergalactic fairy-gender you’re claiming this week.

No one (and I can’t stress this enough) caaaaares! Just because you identify as the omnipotent unicorn beings of Atlantia does not mean I have to acknowledge you. That’s just how life works. That’s kind of like how everyone plays the lottery, but not everyone wins the lottery. It’s sad. If only you could see my sad little face. It’s right behind my wanking hand motion. Yeah, move on. You no longer identify with your chromosomes – You do not win a prize, there is no reward, and no one outside of your circle of friends knows or cares what you are.

You’re not alone. No one knows I almost won the spelling bee in sixth grade, and I was very excited about that. No one remembers that I was deadass sure I was Wonder Woman for a solid three years of my life.  And that was pretty significant because I had an invisible jet, and not many people can say that. No one remembers my new adult walnut allergy (including myself) until I’m scratching my tongue with a fork, and that’s way more important than what kind of Care Bear someone identifies with. Say it with me, “no one cares”.

I know someone who is insanely sensitive about being called brown instead of black. Notice I said “I know someone” and not “I have a friend who”… Because I could never be friends with someone who thinks people should psychically sense that she would prefer to be called brown instead of black. Do some white people prefer to be called beige? I don’t know and frankly I don’t care about twat-errific requests such as those.

Leftists are not happy with their lives being devoid of reason, purpose, and joy, they want to make your lives that way too. I’m sorry, just no. I say thank you ma’am at the drive through window, because I’m polite. If it offends your female-sounding-but-not-identifying voice, you can simply ignore it. If someone wishes you a Merry Christmas, you don’t have to say it back to them if you don’t celebrate Christmas. You can say Happy Holidays, or Happy Hanukkah, or just say thank you, because they’re being friendly and polite.

The douche-canoe that complained about the conductor mentioned inclusivity. What he/it/Satan-incarnate failed to realize is that the conductor DID try to include everyone. Some people were just too self-centered to say thank you and move on with their lives. I envy everyone who has never met a leftist. I swear, people plant trees simply to replace the oxygen leftists waste on a daily basis.

If you’re petty like me, here are a list of things that non-binary people think you shouldn’t say to them. It is also known as the list of things I WILL say, frequently. Sorry, not sorry. And then there’s a second video of one of the guys from the first video talking about how, a year later, he’s no longer non-binary. Because the non-binary crowd is toxic. We know, buddy. We know.