Women Make More Than Men In New ‘Feminist’ Monopoly

Ashley (Kimber)

As everyone knows, women aren’t good at games or riddles or puzzles or brainy stuff like that, so they have to get bonus points to get a fair shake at winning. Our pretty little woman brains just can’t handle playing by the same rules.

JUUUST KIDDING. I CAN WIN FAIR AND SQUARE.

But the people over Hasbro either don’t think so… or are making some kind of “woke” counter-intuitive statement.

(I doubt they’re trying to remind us that the wage gap is a myth that disappears when career choice and hours worked is taken into account, but it sure is doing just that.)

According to CNN:

Tired: Mr. Monopoly. Wired: Ms. Monopoly.

One of America’s most recognizable board games is getting an upgrade. Hasbro is debuting a new game celebrating women’s empowerment — Ms. Monopoly, marking the first time in Monopoly history when a new mascot will be featured on the cover of the game.

The twist? In Ms. Monopoly, female players will get more money.

The twist? What if a chick still loses to a dude? Yikes. That’s embarrassing for her.

Unlike the classic game, women will collect 240 Monopoly bucks when they pass “go,” while male players will collect the usual 200. The idea is to create a game where women make more than men, the first game to do so, according to Hasbro.

It’s “a fun new take on the game that creates a world where women have an advantage often enjoyed by men,” the company said in a statement. “But don’t worry, if men play their cards right, they can make more money too.

LOL! Yeah. Do YOU pay women less, Hasbro?

If so, is it because they take more time off, work shorter hours, are less willing to work nights and weekends, and have PR degrees instead of engineering ones?

Yeah. About that.

That’s not the only difference, though. Instead of buying property, players will invest in inventions created by women — things like Wi-Fi and chocolate chip cookies. But no worries — mainstays such as jail, luxury taxes and chance cards are still included.

OH THANK GOD. What ever would we do without LUXURY TAXES?!

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