Washington Post Wants You To Know About Your Pumpkin Spice Latte’s ‘Connection to a Centuries-Old Genocide’

Ashley (Kimber)

Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back. (I think?)

I have no interest, in that A) I think they’re too sweet, and B) It’s supposed to be 110 degrees all week in Phoenix, but I fully respect and encourage y’all to drink whatever the hell you want. No judgement here.

You know who IS judging your beverage of choice?

THE WASHINGTON POST.

Why? Because, like most things, Pumpkin Spice Lattes are RACIST.

(And no, it’s not because the infamous PSL has been deemed the basic white girl drink of choice.)

Oh.

According to the post:

Pumpkin-spice latte season is starting even earlier this year, with the famous drink spiced with cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves pouring into Starbucks coffee shops Tuesday.

But underneath those fuzzy-sweater vibes, the spices in “the PSL” have a dark history. Particularly nutmeg. It’s a story of war, genocide and slavery.

Of course it is.

So anyway, the article explains some wars over nutmeg. It’s a super controversial spice. Bad things happened in the 1600s that you should probably feel guilty about.

The matter was settled in 1667 when the English agreed to end its claims to the Bandas in exchange for an island the Dutch considered worthless: Manhattan.

And, for the record, Manhattan boasts 240 Starbucks that are peddling pumpkin-spice lattes at this very moment.

PEDDLING THOSE EVIL, EVIL HOT MILKSHAKES.

Can’t wait.

It’s too late.