Thoughts On Last Night’s Clown Show

Mockarena, Co-Founder

Can I just tell you how irritated I already am that I’m gonna have to sit through another two hours of torture tonight?

It’s almost the same level of irritation I have about not being informed in advance that in order to fully engage with the Democrat debates you have to be bilingual.

O’Rourke inexplicably answered one of the debate questions in Spanish, which kicked off a whole litany of other candidates (and even a moderator) trying to out-Spanish each other.

You know what that did?  It alienated, divided, and hopefully completely backfired.  It boggles my mind that English isn’t OFFICIALLY our national language, but for all intents and purposes, of course it is.  Which means that randomly speaking a whole other language at an event like a presidential debate doesn’t do anything other than show you want to pander to people who haven’t bothered to assimilate into our culture.

NBC had massive technical difficulties – including that moment when Rachel Maddow and Lester Holt took over at the 2nd hour, and the producers forgot to cut the mics of the first hour moderators, leading to a prolonged commercial break that proved that NBC has no idea how to debate-host.  Also, was it just me – or were there several screen black-outs throughout, that lasted a couple seconds apiece?

Clownshow.

Anyway, let’s rate everyone, shall we?

Bill de Blasio is an intensely unlikable person, and he was intensely unlikable last night. When he proudly proclaimed that he was in charge of the largest police force in the country, a police force that was connected to the community, it cracked me up that he brought attention to them at all, given that they mostly despise him.  He’s horrendous, as all the Democrat candidates are, but performance wise I’d probably give him a C.  He tried to scrap it up a couple times to get noticed, and I suppose as far as scrapping it up goes, he did OK.  But he doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of progressing much further.

Tim Ryan was by far the touchy-feeliest of the bunch.  I appreciated what he said about mental health counseling in schools.  I appreciated his take during his spat with Tulsi Gabbard about our continued presence in Afghanistan.  She killed him on the Taliban vs Al Qaeda thing, but I actually agree with him more when it comes to engagement there.  I don’t think he wowed anyone, but he certainly didn’t bomb.  I’d give him a C+.

Julian Castro – the only Actual Hispanic on stage – doesn’t actually speak much Spanish, and I wish he would have called out Beto and Booker and the moderator for their Spanish-speaking pandering, because it would have been a great way for him to put them in their place.  That said, he absolutely DEMOLISHED O’Rourke when they fought about immigration.  Everyone on the stage is insane, obviously, but when it came to having a better grasp of their insane positions, Castro wiped the floor with Beto.  He also presented well, and I thought he was appealing enough of a personality that I expect he’ll advance in the polls.  B+

Cory Booker – you guys, I cannot get past his Kermit voice.  It’s so massively distracting – he is a caricature of himself.  Apparently, he got the most talk time during the night. However, nothing he said particularly stood out.  C.

Elizabeth Warren – she was the obvious frontrunner of the night, and I suspect she’ll stay that way, even though she didn’t necessarily have a huge moment.  The audience there was clearly in her corner.  For some reason, it was apparently really popular when her response to the question about whether or not she had a plan to deal with McConnell was “Yes I do.”

Ummm…ok?

Anyway, I’d give her a B.

Robert O’Rourke.  Fail.  Just on every level.  He has no specifics, he cannot deliver a message without overly-rehearsed talking points, he is absolutely amateur, and he has no business being on the stage.  F.  Maybe an F+ if I’m being generous.

Amy Klobuchar – aside from the fact that there were moments I legit thought she was going to get violent, I thought she showed really well.  She f*cked up her answer on gun confiscation, but it’s what they all really believe, so I suppose to Democrats it was fine. She had a few more zinger lines than anyone else, and she seemed, for the most part, more practical and reasonable than the others.  B-.

Tulsi Gabbard sounded measured and calm and rational, but she’s a lunatic and she can’t hide from her past record of showing love for Assad.  I think most people will remember her silver hair streak more than they will anything in particular that she said, although again, she did win the fight she had with Tim Ryan about war.  I expect she probably gained a few new followers from the night, but the more her past record is exposed the worse of a time she’ll have.  B.

Jay Inslee. This man is a straight up lunatic and I cannot believe he governs a state.  He reminded me of Jim Carrey’s Fire Marshall Bill character, and I ended up having nightmares about him.  His plan to run on climate change as his top three priorities is just patently stupid.  He looks like a deranged psychopath, and I never want to have to see his face again.  D-.

John Delaney.  This guy is the least objectionable of the bunch, but he’s got a super creepy smile and he was basically ignored much of the night.  When he did speak, he seemed really intent on trying to create some civility, so I suppose props for that.  C.

Joe Biden, surprisingly, wasn’t mentioned a single solitary time.

The entire Democrat platform is horrifically terribly bad for our country.  Last night, the theme was basically – criminalize pharmaceutical companies, decriminalize illegal immigrants.  Make rich people pay for #allthethings.  Trump sucks. The end.

I’m exhausted from it all, frankly, and just amazed that anyone in our country thinks that any of those people could be Commander in Chief.  No.  Absolutely not.  Here is how much interest people should have in them.

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Did y’all watch? What did you think?  Trump’s only tweet about it was simply, “BORING!” which cracked me up.