BETO Likes His Politics Like Bros Like Their Tinder Dates

Ashley (Kimber)

I know that’s a weird headline, let me explain myself.

There’s always that dude that refuses to call the girl he’s regularly sleeping with his “girlfriend.” His excuse is that he “doesn’t like labels.” The reality is that calling her his “girlfriend” comes with a whole bunch of “boyfriend” expectations, like not cheating on her, returning her calls/texts, and buying her a Christmas gift.

“I don’t like labels” dudes are looking for all of the benefits of a girlfriend, without having to “buy the cow.”

Enter Beto:


Beto is trying to get the “progressive” vote without having to commit to being a socialist nutjob and alienating moderates.

LADIES: any of you getting “It’s awesome hanging out, but I’m not looking for a steady relationship” flashbacks right about now?

Uh huh. I thought so.

His “progressive” gal pals (Not girlfriends. We’ve discussed this.) are HEARTBROKEN:

“Well I never liked you anyway, soooo… Whatever.”