Will this man just give it UP already? He’s DONE.
NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU ANYMORE, BUBBA!
…which is why this article hit him SO. DAMN. HARD.
In case you’re in the mood for 1500 words of Michael Avenatti mockery: https://t.co/N6bfksPSyj
— Kyle Smith (@rkylesmith) December 13, 2018
Remember when Michael Avenatti was the Democrats’ big hope for 2020? He wasn’t just that, though. Parachuting in to launch his presidential campaign to the DNC’s “Ethnic Council” and its black caucus in Chicago in August, he enthusiastically adopted the party’s guiltspeak. “People that look like me, white men, we need to stand up,” he told his minority audience, exactly the kind of cost-free identity-politics self-castigation without which no Democrat can hope to rise very far. In the same month, Avenatti spoke at the “Democratic Wing Ding” dinner in Iowa and announced plans to visit at least 20 more states.
These days Avenatti’s attempts to stay in the headlines just seem sad: He’s representing one of the more obscure figures of the Resistance, a woman who climbed as far as the right foot of the Statue of Liberty (that high?) to protest Trump’s immigration policies but whose refusal to come down forced the evacuation of Liberty Island. What next? Maybe Avenatti will go to the pawn shop to pay a visit to his former watches. Maybe he’ll become in-house counsel for the Hustler Club. Maybe he’ll chain himself to the White House fence. If so, that’s as close as he’s ever going to get to the Oval Office.
You know who’s not too happy about it?
What a complete piece of garbage. You call yourself a journalist? You can’t even get basic facts right. Oh, that’s right, you don’t want to because they don’t fit your agenda. You are a hack with no ethics.
— Michael Avenatti (@MichaelAvenatti) December 15, 2018
Anywhooo… he’s trying really, really, REALLY hard to be relevant again, since CNN isn’t returning his calls anymore.
This is the best he could come up with:
I am now representing Alexandra Chalupa in connection with investigating and pursuing possible legal claims against Manafort, Trump and other affiliated individuals. She was targeted with baseless, bogus allegations, all designed to distract away from Trump’s Russian collusion. https://t.co/h19xlYwZEe
— Michael Avenatti (@MichaelAvenatti) December 14, 2018
I’d almost have some sympathy for how pathetically HARD he’s trying if he weren’t such a DOUCHELORD.
Will you be setting up a GoFundMe account to steal from for her as well? Asking for a friend. https://t.co/Wuh8HFelOw
— Merry G-mas (@TCC_Grouchy) December 16, 2018
— BattleSwarm (@BattleSwarmBlog) December 15, 2018
Wow Michael, I’d make a joke, but you’d “beat me to the punch.”
— Pike Mence ⭐️⭐️⭐️ (@mence_pike) December 15, 2018
Did you meet at Starbucks, or in your garage, since you got evicted from your office?
— Ron Barker (@wrongnowshutup2) December 15, 2018
Actually… they probably met at Taco Bell.
Ba Dum BUM!
My fiance is a criminal lawyer. He’s absolutely perplexed that this earthworm of a man is still licensed to practice law.
He puts scumbag lawyers everywhere to shame. Avenatti takes scumbaggery to a whole new level. He’s literally just doing this to get back on TV.