Contagious Herpes-Ridden Monkeys Take Over State Park – Because Florida

I’m in Florida with Hannah right now. It has been LOVELY…so I might feel a LITTLE bad for giving the Sunshine State a hard time… But AS YOU KNOW I love messing with Florida

Why?

Because where else would THIS happen?

“A state park in Florida has become overrun with monkeys over the past 80 years – and, experts warn they’re carrying a deadly form of herpes that could pass on to humans.”

Add in a high-on-meth dude who makes out with the Herp Monkeys, and you’ve got PEAK Florida. (That didn’t happen. But it will. You just wait.)

According to Daily Mail:

According to the latest estimates, the population of roughly 300 rhesus macaques living in Silver Spring State Park could double in the next four years, raising the risk of disease transmission.

The monkeys were initially brought to the region as a tourist attraction in the 1930s, but after escaping and expanding their territory, experts say their population is now growing by 11 percent each year, National Geographic reports.

THIS IS SOME PLANET OF THE APES SH*T.

So authorities are trying to curb the monkey problem. Because, you know. Monkey Herp.

In recent years, wildlife managers in the state have been considering ways to remove the monkeys from Silver Spring in effort to stay on top of their rapid growth.

And, with the discovery that some of the animals excrete a virus that can be dangerous to humans, the concern has only increased.

A study on the population earlier this year found that rather than just carrying herpes B, which is common in the species, roughly a third of the monkeys have the virus in their saliva and other bodily fluids, posing a potential risk of spreading the disease.

I’ve never thought about “monkey body fluids” before. I hope this is the first and only time.

If left to its own devices, a study published last month in the journal Wildlife Management found that the rhesus macaque population in the area will double by the year 2022.

AND THEN FLORIDA WILL BE OVERTAKEN BY MONKEYS.

Which would only be slightly worse than what’s going on in Florida now. So whatevz. In fact, Herp Monkeys might be better at counting votes.

And ok… they’re kinda cute.