You know how Mock hates Ashley Judd with the fury of a billion suns? Well, I’m not a fan of the Kardashians, y’all. I feel like the idolization of reality-bots like them has at least, in part, led to the demise of Western civilization. And I feel like girls, especially, are absolutely dumber for it. Everyone wants to make money for shoving their lips full of synthetic crap and taking filtered selfies all day long.
But listen, I know, there’s a whole gaggle of you hip-a$$ millennials out there who worship the ground this family walks on, and while you may not admit it (you may even say, “OMG I ONLY LIKE KOURT!”), you watch their show religiously as if you draw lifeblood from it.
Oh, you watch it. You know you do. And then you buy the merchandise. The clothes. The lip kits. And you contribute to this family’s insane wealth. And it all stems back to the beginning – that time when the wife of the dude who defended OJ Simpson pimped out her ample-backsided daughter’s sex tape so the whole family could capitalize on it.
But listen – Kylie, the 20-year old – is “self-made,” y’all. Well, according to Forbes, anyway:
⚡️ Kylie Jenner is almost a billionairehttps://t.co/Xpfjd0d4Dk
— Forbes (@Forbes) July 11, 2018
Yeeeah. That actually happened. But Dictionary.com wasn’t having it:
Self-made means having succeeded in life unaided.
— Dictionary.com (@Dictionarycom) July 11, 2018
Hats off to you, Dictionary.com for being the one in the room who understands ACTUAL REALITY.
Cue all the people who are going to yell at me and tell me what a hardworker she is and how a lot of innovation goes into lipkits and makeup creation and Snapchatting.
You’re right. I should totally give her credit for being self-made.
Totally self-made, you guys. Totally.