BREAKING: Judge Dismisses All Charges Against Stormy Daniels

Hannah Bleau

So you know how Stormy Daniels was arrested at a strip club in Ohio last night?

Mockarena recapped:

So, there’s apparently a law in Ohio that stipulates that if a worker who “regularly appears nude or semi-nude” at a “sexually oriented business,” then said worker is not allowed to touch anyone who’s not a family member while in said state of undress at said business.

I’m guessing Stormy was unfamiliar with said law.

She posted bail in the amount of $6,054 and was on her merry way, and will be arraigned tomorrow morning.

Well, folks… because she’s not a regular performer at this club, case dismissed.

“I’ve determined that these crimes were not committed, based on the fact that Ms. Clifford has not made regular appearances at this establishment as required under the law,” Columbus City Attorney Zach Klein said in a statement.

So there you have it. Case dismissed.