Michael Moore Decided To Rewrite The Second Amendment

Hannah Bleau

There is no nice way to say this. Michael Moore is a complete dumba$$. He doesn’t understand the importance of the Second Amendment, and he doesn’t care to understand it. It makes him feeeeeeeel unsafe. Therefore, we should repeal the darn thing and replace it with Moore’s new and improved amendment.

Here’s the ACTUAL Second Amendment, which we’ll refer back to.

“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

Are you ready to hear Moore’s new and improved version?

“A well regulated State National Guard, being helpful to the safety and security of a State in times of need, along with the strictly regulated right of the people to keep and bear a limited number of non-automatic Arms for sport and hunting, with respect to the primary right of all people to be free from gun violence, this shall not be infringed.”

Let’s go through this piece by piece, shall we?

A well regulated State National Guard…

He’s done with the whole “militia” thing. REGULAR people make up militias. He doesn’t want any confusion here. This is a well regulated STATE NATIONAL GUARD. As in, an entity comprised of people REGULATED BY THE STATE. No more funny business, plebs.

…being helpful to the safety and security of a State in times of need…

As you can see, Moore completely took out the whole “being necessary” part. He doesn’t even want to put that idea out there. This is not NECESSARY. It’s “helpful” in “times of need.” No word on what Moore considers “times of need.”

…along with the strictly regulated right of the people to keep and bear a limited number of non-automatic Arms for sport and hunting…

The people’s “right” isn’t actually a “right,” because, as you can see, Moore believes the government can tell you 1.) What kind of weapon you can own 2.) How many you can own and 3.) What you can use them for. By his own admission, Moore shows that he doesn’t view this as a “right.” This is government telling us what we can and cannot do.

…with respect to the primary right of all people to be free from gun violence…

Clearly, Moore is unaware that the Founders already established that we have an innate right to life. Therefore, this clause is stupid and unnecessary. I also have the right to be free from someone fatally stabbing me with a fork. Do we need an amendment for that too?

…this shall not be infringed…

In order to state that something can “not be infringed,” there has to be an established RIGHT to infringe upon. Moore’s amendment was a list of things we’re not allowed to have or do. His amendment is the complete OPPOSITE of ensuring a specific right given to us by our Creator. His amendment goes against everything the Founders stood for. It’s him telling US that the GOVERNMENT grants us “rights” and that GOVERNMENT can take those rights away. Therefore, THERE’S NOTHING HERE TO INFRINGE. The entire AMENDMENT is an infringement.

Here’s Moore’s entire post. It’s a good read for those who are suckers for America-hating drivel. He wrote it about a month ago, but I thought now would be a good time to revive it, given the recent events.

I have an even shorter rewrite of Moore’s amendment: “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, SHALL BE infringed.”

Stay woke, ya nasty, overcooked meatloaf.