Sen. Susan Collins Will Not Run For Governor Of Maine

Hannah Bleau

Sen. Susan Collins is on my list. She’s been on my list. She’s completely useless. So when I heard the rumors that she may leave the Senate, I was filled with joy. But then I heard that she would only leave to jump in the governor’s race in Maine.

I prefer her out of politics completely, please and thank you.

Well, bad news folks. She’s not running for governor. She’s staying put. Apparently, one her colleagues wrote her a letter and said, “the institution would suffer in your absence.”

How pretentious and arrogant are these people? The Senate would be JUST FINE without you, Susan. In fact, we might have an Obamacare repeal and replace bill if not for you. Way to go on that, by the way.

All that being said, she’s decided she needs to stay in the Senate in order to make a difference. They need her. We need her. We would probably curl up and die without her.

I’m beginning to get the feeling this was all a giant head fake. She just needed an ego boost. She needed to hear her colleagues say, “Please don’t leave us, Susan! We NEED you! This COUNTRY needs you!”

Maine, please do something about Susan. Thanks.