Stealthing Is A Thing. Yes. But IT IS NOT RAPE OMG.

Mockarena, Co-Founder

According to this, there’s a disturbing new sexual trend emerging called “stealthing.”

A report by the Columbia Journal of Gender and Law defined stealthing this way in the abstract:

“Nonconsensual condom removal during sexual intercourse.”

Now, let me be perfectly clear about this before I get a bunch of hissy fits from hyperreactive SJWs:  If a dude removes a condom during sex without the consent of his partner, that is absolutely, positively horrible.  Inexcusable.  Or, as our producer so eloquently put it, “a dick move.”  (PUN INTENDED.)

But the author of the report, Alexandra Brodsky, suggests that stealthing is a form of sexual assault.  She compares it to rape, even though not a single victim of stealthing identified their experience that way (even if they were actual rape victims previously).  Brodsky writes, though, that “Many did, however, identify a violation of agency of a kind with, if not identical to, rape.”

Too often, it seems that the words “rape” and “sexual assault” are used to describe incidents which, while unwelcome and unpleasant, are NOT examples of rape and sexual assault.

Case in point.

Remember when Ashley Judd (who most of you know I hate with the fury of a billion suns) released her memoir, and in it, described hearing her parents having sex (the walls were thin at home) as an example of “covert sexual abuse?”

So yeah.  If you’ve ever heard your parents getting busy, you’re a victim of sexual abuse.   FYI.

That’s just one example. The worst thing about Ashley’s memoir (in which she describes being tongue-kissed by some older dude, being raped at age 15 by some French dude while she was modeling in Paris, and being the victim of incest), is that after making those claims, she says that (emphasis mine because OMG) “The book is very honest, it’s not necessarily accurate, because everyone in a family has their own perspective and their own experience. But it’s very true for me.

Since her book’s release a few years ago, the number of times she has claimed to have been sexually victimized has varied – or perhaps she just likes changing up the words she uses.  She says she’s been the victim of incest, she’s been molested, she’s been raped, sexually assaulted, sexually harassed, and sexually abused.

Was she?  Perhaps so.  Or perhaps those things “aren’t necessarily accurate.”  We’re talking, after all, about a woman who thinks she was the victim of sexual abuse because she heard her parents getting it on.  I don’t say that to dismiss any genuine acts of assault she may have experienced.  I say that to point out that how you describe things MATTERS.

SIDE NOTE:  It doesn’t matter to progressive feminists like Mary Elizabeth Williams, who wrote about Ashley’s book, “Judd is telling others that if it feels like abuse to you, it was abuse. And that’s good enough.”


As I’ve written previously, this is what liberals do. Feelings over facts. Emotions over evidence. It’s when this kind of thinking begins to permeate courtrooms that it becomes really dangerous. You told a woman you liked her dress? SEXUAL HARASSMENT, you pervert. Pay this fine or do some time, because she FELT HARASSED by it, and that’s all that matters. That, you see, is her truth.

My point? We’re getting waaaaay too loose with serious words like rape and assault.

Brodsky’s article is actually really interesting and I encourage you to read it, because she talks about the various approaches courts could take with victims of stealthing.  She suggests a new statute which would deem the act of stealthing as one of violence.

Obviously, being stealthed would be emotionally traumatic, particularly if there’s reason to fear an unwanted pregnancy or STD.  It’s a huge violation of trust.  But is it violent?  Is it really in the same category as rape or sexual assault?

I would argue that using those terms minimizes the trauma that rape and sexual assault victims experience.

Here’s the thing.  Grown-ups are often dishonest with one another.  They often betray each other’s trust in ways that are truly horrific and clearly traumatic.  But every grown-up assumes a level of risk when they choose to have sex with another grown-up.

The guys that stealth are horrible people.  AWFUL.  But are they violent rapists?

How many times have women trapped men into believing they’re on pill, when in fact they were trying to get pregnant?  Are those women rapists now too?  What about when a guy has no STDs and is infertile?  Is the rape factor removed completely if there’s no risk of either to the woman?

Brodsky concludes her article:

While overlooked by the law, nonconsensual condom removal is a harmful and often gender-motivated form of sexual violence. Remedy may be found under current law, but a new cause of action may promote the possibility of plaintiffs’ success while reducing negative unintended effects. At its best, such a law would clearly respond to and affirm the harm victims report by making clear that “stealthing” doesn’t just “feel violent”—it is.

What do you guys think?  Should stealthing be prosecutable?

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