Miley Cyrus Can’t Stop Sobbing Over Hillary Clinton’s Loss

Hannah Bleau

Miley Cyrus still believes that Hillary Clinton deserves to be the first woman president, and that’s what makes her so sad. *insert sobs here*

“So, probably like most people—well, maybe not, because given the result—maybe I really am different and maybe a lot of people that I’m surrounded by think with open minds and open hearts like I do. And I do want to say that I’ve been very vocal for my support for everyone besides Donald Trump. Heavily supported Bernie. Heavily supported Hillary. And I still think that in her lifetime she deserves to be the first female president, and that’s what makes me so sad,” Cyrus said.

Like, Hillary’s devoted her entire life to this country.  This isn’t faaaaaaaaaair. *dramatic pause* *more sobs*

“I just wish that she had that opportunity, because she fought for so long and because I believe her when she says that she loves this country. This is all she’s ever done,” she said. “She’s given her life to make it better.”

I’m sorry, but HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. That’s a real knee slapper.

As hard as it is, she accepts Donald Trump as the president-elect, even though it breaks her heart.

“But, like Donald Trump so ironically played after his speech, it said, ‘You can’t always get what you want.’ And happy hippies, we adjust and we accept everyone for who they are. And so Donald Trump, I accept you,” she continued. “And this hurts to say, but I even accept you as the President of the United States, and that’s fine…because I think now I want to be hopeful.”

She also thanked Obama for doing so much (don’t ask me what) and ended her good cry on a really hippie-tastic note. If Trump will open his heart and mind, she’ll give him a key.

“Please, please just treat people with love and treat people with compassion and treat people with respect, and I will do the same for you,” she said. “And anyway, anything you ever want to talk about or understand, maybe people that don’t think the same way that you and some of the people that support you do, please, if you want to open your mind and open your heart, I would love to give you a key.”

*insert more sobs here*

“Thank you Hillary for inspiring all of us,” she added. *more tears*

Am I a terrible person for enjoying this?  I don’t even care if I am. I’m totally in the mood to drink the tears of my political enemies today. Put ’em in a mug and send ’em my way, Miley!

Question– Does this mean she’s not moving away as promised? Because I totally feel cheated right now.