Picture this. You drop your little girl off at school. You were in a rush, so you let her curls hang loose and hoped for the best. Hours later, you pick her up and see that her teacher put her hair up because it was hot outside.
What do you do?
Option 1: Thank the teacher.
Option 2: Think nothing of it.
Option 3: Go ballistic and write a scathing article on how offended you are that a white teacher put her hands through your black child’s hair.
It happened to her. She was running late one morning and stuck a headband in her daughter’s hair. When she picked her up, she was shocked. Her daughter’s teacher came over and said, “I did her hair, I hope you don’t mind?! She said she was hot.”
I was furious. My blood was boiling, and there were no nice words I could find. I offered a limp smile, and could barely utter, “it’s fine.” I was fuming. My daughter’s hair had been brushed, with whose brush? I couldn’t tell you, parted, and braided in plaits, and embellished with rubber bands and barrettes, out of the teachers own supply.
How DARE she be so kind!
After about 30 minutes to an hour, I called the school and spoke with the director and asked that Lyric’s hair not be touched by anyone, at all, for any reason. She assured me she would talk to the teachers, but I could tell she really didn’t care. For days I debated with my cousin, a former daycare teacher about the violation, boundary infringement, and the subliminal message being taught to my daughter. My cousin argued the teacher had no ill intentions toward my child, and that she thought she was doing a good thing. She assured me her actions meant that Lyric was a favorite in the school, and now that I have made this an issue they will probably treat her differently now.
She goes on to say that she’s “100 percent sure the teacher had no ill intentions when she decided to do my child’s hair” (no freaking duh, hosebeast), but she believes the white teacher wanted to “get her hands in some Black hair.”
Who the holy hell thinks like that????????
Against my better judgment, I assumed the unspoken rule about not touching Black hair was well known. Needless to say, no matter what the circumstances may be, no matter how tired I am, that hair gets braided down daily! I refuse to allow my child to be mislead into believing her beauty, and worth are defined by what pleases the pale faces of the world. I am a patron of the facility not for beauty treatments, but to first educate, and second care for my child. Unfortunately, I have stigmatized myself as “that mom”, and prayerfully my daughter doesn’t suffer of any ill treatment because of this.
For crying out loud. Her daughter was hot. The teacher put her hair up. She’s actually mad at her for being a decent human being.
Now, I know what some of you are thinking. In today’s world, simple acts of kindness can be misconstrued. People– teachers especially– need to be more aware of their boundaries, one might argue. But that wasn’t even the issue for this mother. If the teacher had been a black woman, well that would’ve been fine. It would’ve been “a sister looking out.” A “homegirl hook up,” if you will.
Would I feel as strongly about this situation had her teacher been Black, and decided to do her hair? Nope, because to me that would of been a sister looking out, a homegirl hook up because of the unspoken understanding all Black people share. Is that biased, ignorant, racist? Call it what you want, but because of the history of the Black body, in relation to White people, (ownership, and exhibition) I will never be ok with White hands in my child’s hair.
This woman has to be one of the most insufferable human beings on the face of the planet besides Kim Kardashian. What a wretched seahag.