At the risk of angering a lot of people – the best thing about Adele is not her musical talent.
Don’t get me wrong. Adele is an AMAZING singer. You would have to be an idiot to suggest otherwise. Years and years ago, I took voice lessons and worked hard to learn how to sing and I can’t even do a FRACTION of a percent of what Adele can do with her voice. She has a gift, but more importantly she’s worked hard to do something extraordinary with it and she’s gained well-deserved success for it.
But what I love about Adele isn’t just her fabulous music. It’s that she has never compromised herself or her standards to fit her successful career. She’s not a diva – she certainly wasn’t above pranking a group of Adele-look-alikes. After technical troubles marred her Grammy performance the other night, she shrugged it off and went for an In-N-Out Burger. Clearly, she’s not someone who flips out over insignificant things. Which is more than I can say for other popular artists and musicians (*cough* Kanye *cough, cough*)
What’s more, it’s also clear that family is important to her.
Cue this interview with Vogue. Wherein (among other things) Adele talks about how she’s never felt like she had a purpose until she became a mother –
The two new men in Adele’s life transformed it completely. They have eradicated the need for much of the drama that she used to thrive on. “I can’t have any other junk in my head to worry about as well,” she tells me. Angelo [her son], meanwhile, “makes me very proud of myself. When I became a parent, I felt like I was truly living. I had a purpose, where before I didn’t.”
Adele took time off to be with her new family before she even thought about putting her third album together. “My main thing is Mum, then it’s me, then it’s work,” she says, adding, “I think I had to take the right amount of time off to let people miss me.”
Do you see anything wrong with that statement? Congratulations! You’re a normal human being!
But a bunch of feminists freaked out because Adele was saying that motherhood was way more important to her than her super-awesome music career. Here’s Slate’s tweet and hand-wringing article about how this is supposedly going to TOTALLY DESTROY Adele and her career (oh please…) –
— Slate (@Slate) February 17, 2016
Here’s a quote from Slate’s article. See how they can’t POSSIBLE conceive of the idea of a highly successful woman loving her family more than her career? It would be sad if Slate wasn’t run by generally awful people –
This is a bold, potentially controversial, statement for a celebrity mom. Adele, ADELE, didn’t feel like she was truly living before she became a mom?! She, the universally adored force of nature behind, at the time, one of the bestselling albums of all time, felt like she didn’t have a purpose?
This type of sentiment has backfired for female celebrities before. When Natalie Portman dared to suggest that motherhood might be ““the most important role of [her] life” in her 2011 Oscar acceptance speech, she received a lot of pushback. “Is reproduction automatically the greatest thing Natalie Portman will do with her life?” asked Salon’s Mary Elizabeth Williams at the time. There’s been similar resistance to calling motherhood “the most important job in the world.”
HOW DARE someone as influential and popular as Adele suggest that women could possibly feel complete and fulfilled by having children. HOW DARE SHE!
Well, yeah. She dares. She has ever right to. Who the crap is Slate or any other liberal outlet to judge people on where they find their purpose?
When well-meaning liberal friends (you laugh, but it’s possible) ask me why I’m so against liberal feminism and why I have such a problem with their philosophies, one of the top reasons I mention is because feminism so often runs-down mothers and motherhood. I’ve never heard a man degrade a woman for her choice to be a stay-at-home mom. Not once. Ever. It’s liberal feminists who do that. Like motherhood is some second-class occupation that subpar women who couldn’t hack it in the real world choose as some cheap cop-out in life. I take exception to that most strenuously – because my mother was a stay-at-home mom. And when feminism takes cheap shots against stay-at-home moms, I take it most personally.
I realize everyone’s situation is different and not all families can make it work where the mom can stay home with the kids and that is fine. I’m not here to preach about what individual families should and shouldn’t do. Frankly, it’s none of my business. But I am speaking purely from my own experience. Growing up, my family was incredibly blessed that my mom was home every day. We never had to guess if someone was going to be home if we had to call home sick from school or if we would have a home-cooked meal or if someone would even be there if we needed to talk. Even now that I’m grown up and married and facing choices that will affect my future family, I still feel good that I know I can call and talk to my mom and I will have her 100% attention. I don’t think that my relationship with my mother would have been as good had she worked outside the home (and she was more than capable of having her own career – she also co-ran our family ranching business with my dad. She has a two-year degree and could go to college to finish her accounting degree, if she wanted to). Like I said – that’s my family’s situation and I recognize how incredibly lucky we were. But if you asked my mother, she wouldn’t change a stinking thing about the choices and sacrifices she made and continues to make for our family.
Basically, if feminists want to have it out on this stupid “Oh, being a mom is such a worthless job” thing, I will fight them tooth and nail over it. You insult stay-at-home moms, you insult my mother, and you insult me. I don’t take kindly to that.
But it does my heart good to see someone as high-profile as Adele saying that she too feels fulfilled by being a mother. I hope she stands by her statement. There’s no reason for her not to.