Show Your Feminist Pride By Putting Glitter In Your Armpit Hair!

Miss CJ

Remember glitterbeards? I showed that story to my fiance (who has a very attractive and manly beard himself) and the only thing funny about it was the hilariously disgusted look on his face when he learned that there are actually guys in this world who would voluntarily choose to do something that stupid and effeminate to their facial hair (and wouldn’t the glitter make it difficult to eat and drink?)

Well, in the name of equality (I suppose) women are now doing the same thing to their armpit hair. Heaven forbid that there is something stupid out there that men are doing that women aren’t participating in as well (as evidenced by the fact that they’re growing their armpit hair out in the first place) –

The caption on this Instagram post actually says that this is for feminism and equality. Nothing says “I’m a freaking moron and I have no idea why I’m doing this” than following a bunch of social justice lemmings because some idiot on social media told you to –

@matthew_burditt and I want you to show us your #glitterpits! Glitter your armpits for #feminism #genderequality, women, men, & gender non conformists, alike! Glitter up your pits, take a pic and post using the tag #glitterpits Tag your friends and show that your furry pits are beautiful!

A photo posted by Katrina Molson (@katrinamolson) on

Never mind the absolute GROSSNESS of growing out your armpit hair – WHY in the name of all that is good and holy would you want to put glitter on ANY part of your body? I know people jokingly say that glitter is the herpes of the craft world because it gets all over the place – but do you have to take it so literally?

(And I don’t even want to mention what I think the next glitter-hair trend is going to be because – DISGUSTING!)

If you really feel the need to have something sparkly in your armpits, just glue some tinsel in there and call it good.