I love The Onion. After spending a day reading real news stories and opinions about how the world is ending because X, Y, and Z are happening, sometimes, I like to read a few Onion articles – just to remember that some news isn’t worth the outrage that the media tries to gin up.
That being said, this headline from the esteemed purveyor of snark and satire has me going “Oooooooooooh – that’s gonna leave a mark.”
The Onion has this headline – “Defunded Planned Parenthood Reassures Supporters It Has Enough Fetus Cash To Keep Going.” Seriously. They actually went there. They DARED to mock the Planned Parenthood –
WASHINGTON—Following the announcement by Texas state officials to cut Medicaid funding for the nonprofit organization, Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards assured supporters Tuesday that it has plenty of fetus cash to keep going for a while. “While the decision by Texas to eliminate taxpayer funding for Planned Parenthood is unfortunate, I want everyone to know that we have an ample supply of sweet baby-organ cabbage to continue providing our services,” said Richards, adding that the reproductive and maternal health organization had enough fetal-tissue scratch to keep the doors open for the foreseeable future. “Lawmakers remain determined to deny reproductive health care to women in need, and if not for our golden baby-parts goose, they well may have succeeded. But rest assured that with our mad stacks of aborted-fetus bucks, the future of Planned Parenthood is as secure as ever.” Richards added that even as she was speaking, Planned Parenthood employees were busy squeezing some extra green out of whatever embryos they had left in the back.
If we’ve learned anything since Center for Medical Progress started dropping those Planned Parenthood videos, it’s that you don’t insult or criticize the Gloriously Sainted Liberal Abortion Death Cult. And you CERTAINLY don’t ask the High Priestess of Death Cecile Richards any tough questions about Planned Parenthood’s financial practices. That’s just MEEEEEEAN (and sexist. You patriarchal right-wing misogynists who just want women to die in childbirth!)
And, just like clockwork, liberals came out swinging in defense of those poor, misunderstood, innocent little murderers at Planned Parenthood. Keep in mind, they are mad at a SATIRE news site (I guess The Onion‘s writers hit a little too close to the bone) –
@TheOnion Stop! Do you know how many millions will believe this? (and quote it)
— Joanne Robrahn (@abynorml) October 20, 2015
@TheOnion Was that realy necessary? Have you sold out to Drudge Report?
— Gene Starwind (@Gene_Starwind) October 20, 2015
@TheOnion not funny. Unfollow.
— Beverly Bullock (@bcbnyc1) October 20, 2015
Hey, I thought it was funny (in a morbid sort of way). Though I will say this is one time that the reaction to a piece from The Onion is funnier than the actual article itself. Funny and sad all at the same time.