I know everyone's been busy watching the VMAs, subsequently dry-heaving from said VMAs, and then spending time with friends and family over this glorious Labor Day weekend, but listen, y'all. Feel the Bern has jumped to a nine-point lead over Hillionaire in New Hampshire and is gaining ground in Iowa.
Now, I don't know about you guys, but the thought of Bernie Sanders as leader of the free world is enough to give me shivers down my spine. And the fact that Americans are shaking their heads mindlessly and saying, "Oh yeah….socialism would be SO GREAT FOR AMERICA" is, once again, another sad commentary on America. Young people – and some seemingly-lobotomized, moronic older people – want socialism in America. And there are two reasons why, in my opinion. One, because they've never read a friggin' history book or ignore the ones they have read. And two, it's the pathway to free crap – and Democrats are the party of free crap. There's ALWAYS that candidate who's going to offer the free crap, and Feel the Bern is that candidate this time – on steroids.
In 2008 and 2012, it was Obama. In addition to healing the friggin' oceans, he was going to pay for people's gas and mortgages. Remember that load of crap? Need an Obamaphone? VOTE FOR HIM. There's always one in every election cycle, and God knows Hillionaire isn't going be the free-crap candidate. She's just not relatable enough. Too rich and scandal-heavy. But Bernie Sanders? He flat-out says to the low-fo lemmings, "hey….it's not faaaaaaaaaair that you're a loser, and I will make sure that you get the crap that you're unwilling to work for…because AMERICA…and equality….and you are entitled to what you haven't earned." And the low-fos eat it up like candy.
The thing about our country is that the takers are outweighing the makers, and a dude like Sanders could be elected. The "it's not fair!" rhetoric could prevail, because the sentiment of entitlement is a cancer, and that cancer is a rampant one – a deadly one for America, frankly.
I happen to think that Sanders would be a complete disaster for this country. But that's me. I think that anyone who is socialist has no business being a politician in the United States of America. And definitely no business running for the highest office of the land. Socialism goes against the very fabric of what this country stands for – capitalism, free markets…Socialism puts MORE power into the hands of politicians. HELLO. And it murders entrepreneurship and innovation – two things that I believe in wholeheartedly. I believe in the power of small business – not the power of government to save me or my country. And listen – free men and women engaging in capitalistic ventures always spend more wisely than a government. If you don't believe me, see our country's out of control spending and debt. Because no one can spend money like the government spending ours, y'all. There's absolutely NO accountability there. When was the last time you got an itemized receipt, huh? Or just see one of the government's many "businesses." You know, like the IRS. Or the Post Office. Tell me how well they do business, and then we'll talk about efficiency and innovation or even accounting, for crying out loud.
And don't even get me started on Feel-the-Bern's non-economic policies. Let's all imagine the guy as Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces, shall we? Just take a moment to do that.
I'll wait over here.
One of my favorite quotes from Sanders was this gem, when he told Chuck Todd after the shooting in Lafayette, Louisiana that "guns used to kill people exclusively, not for hunting, should not be sold in the United States of America."
Mmmmkay then. Holy mother of batcrap lunacy.
And then there's that whole Bernie-thinking-that-women-fantasize-about-being-gang-raped thing. No, Feel-the-Bern. Not all of us do that, freak.
What's that you say about a War on Women, liberals?
Anywho, socialism isn't American. If you want to argue about that, you may be on the wrong site. And that's the thing – there are plenty of other countries out there who prescribe to socialist ideology, so I wonder why folks just don't move. I heard that North Vietnam and South Yemen are lovely this time of year.