Are You Guilty Of Amatonormativity? Welcome To The New Reason You’re A Huge Jerk.

Mockarena, Co-Founder

I don’t wanna live on this planet anymore.

Because on this planet, the complete lunatics at Everyday Feminism sit around coming up with new words to describe new made-up things to be offended by, and I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE.

Do they not know that they’re working towards the entire human race ceasing all forms of communication to simply avoid being accused of offending someone? That’s the end game here, y’all. No one will talk to anyone anymore, because of weirdos like Michon Neal writing idiotic articles like the one linked above.

For the record, Michon is self-described on Twitter as follows:

Writer of queer, polyamorous, and aromantic cuil fiction with plenty of POC, reframer of perspectives…and metanoiac-alethiologist.

If you don’t know what any of those things are, congratulations. You’re a normal human being. I can’t really help you understand those things, because it would require me to care about those things.  And I don’t.

But I AM going to help Michon in her quest to make sure we all learn every possible way we could commit a microaggression against someone by sharing her new vocabulary word: Amatonormativity.

Michon writes, “Amatonormativity is, essentially, ‘the assumption that a central, exclusive, amorous relationship is normal for humans, in that it is a universally shared goal, and that such a relationship is normative, in the sense that it should be aimed at in preference to other relationship types,’ according to Elizabeth Brake.”

In other words, if you think people generally have a desire to fall in love, marry, have kids, etc. then you’re an amatonormative jerk. HOW DARE YOU.

Michon, for example, doesn’t ever want to marry, which if you ask me, is a HUGE BLESSING FOR MEN EVERYWHERE.

But because she wants to raise kids with her sister and live in a house full of friends, and because many people find that odd, Michon is compelled to tell us all how normal amatonormative we are. Because how dare we think those choices are odd? Don’t you know that in today’s world, tolerance is simply not enough? Every lifestyle, no matter how bizarre, must be EMBRACED FULLY BY EVERYONE, or you risk being called new vocabulary words.

Michon says amatonormativity does five really really bad things:

1. “Amatonormativity Creates an Arbitrary Relationship Hierarchy” – Michon is miffed because romantic relationships get more “recognition, legal, social, and emotional support” than other types of relationships. And as a result, she says she and her fellow weirdos are “reclaiming the entire friendzone for ourselves, from the damage that romance supremacy has done to it.”

I can’t.

2. “Amatonormativity Discourages Communication and Compatibility” – Michon is convinced that romance is depicted – EVERYWHERE – as being “competitive, exclusive, jealous, restricting, controlling, and all-consuming.” She says that’s the message that gets shoved down our throats day after day through the media, movies, literature, and TV.

I have to disagree on that, because if that’s what I believed romance was all about I’d want no part of it. No one would.  Which would then make romantic relationships a deviant desire.  Which they’re not.

3. “Amatonormativity Also Makes Non-Monogamy More Difficult” – Michon has trouble finding information about non-monogamous people which isn’t “heavily couple-centric, hetero- and cisnormative, ableist, and virtually completely romantically oriented.”

She goes on to use words like compersion and solo polyamory and enmeshment to describe this problem, and I can’t lie to y’all – I sort of checked out when I got to that paragraph. So I can’t elaborate on this point, except to say that it’s probably just as dumb as the previous two.

4. “Amatonormativity Leaves Aros, Asexuals, and Others More Vulnerable” – Michon explains that she is “asexual, autistic, aromantic, and kinky – as well as left-handed.” These characteristics, she says, means that her brain is wired “extremely differently.”

I laughed out loud at that. As if we hadn’t already figured that out.

Michon says that “The medical community mostly thinks something’s wrong with us if we don’t want a romantic relationship. The majority of people we meet will conflate all love, intimacy, and affection with romance. And hoping to have our needs met consistently and appropriately will likely remain only a hope for many of us.”

I have to agree with her there. I kind of feel like Michon getting her needs met is a lost cause too.

5. “It Leaves Parts of Abuse Culture Intact” – Michon says that “toxic ideas of romance” are “placed on a pedestal” and so when romantic relationships become abusive, it’s the fault of the culture. Because it’d be ridiculous to place the blame on the individual abuser, silly. It’s our culture’s fault for being so amatonormative. Don’t you see?

These problems have all gotten so out of control in Michon’s mind that she says she is “repulsed by any notion of romance at all.”

I think this is a win for society and the world, but that’s just me.