Obama’s In Paris, Obsessing Over The Weather And Blaming America

President Obama’s currently in Paris, meeting with world leaders and coming up with a definitive strategy to defeat ISIS discussing the weather.

During the COP21 climate change summit Monday, Obama stopped short of apologizing for the destroying the entire planet. Because climate change is all America’s fault. We’re so greedy. We just leave lights on all the time and have too many diesel trucks and don’t love the earth. (He likes flying around the world, apologizing for America almost as much as he likes to play golf. Almost.)

“I’ve come here personally, as the leader of the world’s largest economy and the second-largest emitter, to say that the United States of America not only recognizes our role in creating this problem, we embrace our responsibility to do something about it,” Obama said.

We embrace our responsibility, everybody. That’s what we’re doing now. (No word if he plans to cut back on his high emission world travels.)

But seriously. He’s adamant about establishing a solid plan to fight climate change. ISIS? Not so much. But the weather? YES.

“Our task here in Paris is to turn these achievements into an enduring framework for human progress, not a stop-gap solution, but a long-term strategy that gives the world confidence in a low-carbon future,” Obama said.

Oh, and this is TOTALLY a spit in the face to ISIS, FYI.

“What greater rejection of those who would tear down our world than marshaling our best efforts to save it,” Obama said proudly.

Pres Obama says he looks to the Paris summit to establish a new long-term framework of verifiable emission reductions by each nation.

— Mark Knoller (@markknoller) November 29, 2015

*facepalm*

“Oh, no! Not a new long-term framework of verifiable emission reductions!” ~ ISIS https://t.co/zXPJFY7J2S — jon gabriel (@exjon) November 29, 2015

How about a “verifiable” check on Iran’s nukes? Nah. https://t.co/QU03Nonkld

— Winston Coolidge (@winstoncoolidge) November 29, 2015

So yeah. World leaders are actually meeting in Paris– where Islamic radicals recently murdered and injured hundreds of people– to discuss the freaking weather.

If you need me, I’ll be over here. Weeping for all of humanity.

h/t The Hill